You're Human Now

Chapter 15

**Dipper**

I had questions to ask but Bill must have teleported away. I go back into my room and slam the door behind me. My hands shook as I locked eyes with the book shelf against the wall. I start grabbing random books and chuck them across the room in anger. Tears brimmed in my eyes and everything blurred. My fist pounded on the walls as I cried out in anguish.

How? HOW!? My whole life is a big fat lie? I don't even know who I am mad at. Bill for not letting me be ignorant? Ford for 'kidnapping' me and lying to me? How can I be mad at him when the best memories are due to what he did? He was doing what he thought was best... right? Maybe it is just my fault for just existing. My real family would be safe and not worry about me, Bill would not have gone crazy and start Weirdmaggedon. Bill would not even be actively risking his life to keep me safe. I am the problem in this equation. Bill should have just not had me.

I continue to cry and go to punch the wall. My fist connects, igniting in purple flames and wringing in pain from the impact. My other hand grabs my arm and squeezes the life out of it. Choking my hand out, I placed the flaming palm on my face and scream the loudest I think I ever had. My voiced strained and cracked at the end of the scream. I plopped on the ground, my back against the bookcase.

It doesn't have to be all bad right? Sure, I could be a demon but that means I can do everything Bill can. Unlike Bill, I do not have to hurt people. I can be a good demon. That's an angel isn't it? Hmm, I can at least protect the people I care about, keep Gravity Falls safe. Bill can make nightmares and corrupt minds... so, why can't I just give good dreams and help people with mental illness? That can work. Bill is immortal too, so I must be right? That's awesome I can do this forever... but everyone I care about will eventually die...

Tears come like a waterfall down my cheeks. Oh god, everyone I care about will die and I be stuck here watching it happen, unable to stop it. I fling my arm behind me, reach up for a book on the bookcase. I threw it across the room and watched it smack on the wall across from me. I light chuckle and a slight grin made its way on face from watching it hit the wall. I throw another book, and another one. Moments later I start chucking book after book easily reaching double digits. At least I can control myself throwing these books, it's something.

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I sat here moping for a long while felt like maybe a half hour, was probably more. My mind raced with thoughts as the tears dried on my face. I have come to the conclusion I must make a choice to deal with this. I have made it into X options.

1. Bill is telling the truth and I can accept him as my dad and live a life in hiding with him. It will keep Mabel safe but is it worth never seeing her again? If I am going to outlive her it is probably best to rip the Band-Aid off and cut off contact. She will remember me as her brother, not a demon. My heart felt constricted thinking about this scenario but I need to be logical here.

2. Bill is telling the truth and I train with Bill to take down Tad Strange. This scenario is likely to happen if Bill is telling the truth, but the question is what to do after? Do I try to return to a normal life with Mabel and the Grunkles again or is that not possible? Will they accept me? Do they miss me? What am I thinking of course they do, they are still my family no matter what Bill says.

3. Bill is lying and I am stuck here at his mercy. I hope this one is the truth more than anything. Although, it feels odd to hope that I am a prisoner but that reduces my problems to just getting home. I don't think that is the case... Bill seemed very sincere when he spoke, but he is a master manipulator. He could totally playing me for a fool. Either way, I have to play along to get out. If he is happy with how I act then there is hope of escaping and going home.

My mind is set, stick to the game plan of playing along with Bill's antics. I stand for the first time in a while and my body is paying me back for sitting on the hard floor for so long. I stretch my body and try to shake off the aches to no results. I hobble over to the pile of books I made earlier and start picking them up. If I am going to play along I need to make Bill think I have accepted his story. I finish putting all the books back on the shelf and flop on my bed. In an instant I let drowsiness overtake me and fell asleep.