Cameo | LeoBin (VIXX) | ENG

Part 2 - The Cakes'Robber

Hyuk « - That's too bad that he doesn't want to stay ....

N - Don't waste your time with him. You know those kind of unsociable people, they believe that everyone will gonna attack them! That's stupid...

Ken - Don't say that! I don't know that much if he's really from one of those people, but don't make fun of him!

N - But that kind of behavior is ridiculous! What is he afraid of?... And it's really not funny.

''Funny''. This is his real life's goal behind his reflexions.

Ravi - He doesn't see us as it is, he's not interested but it is, and we surely have hurt him. I have been trying to invite him kindly, but if he wants to go on his way, that's his choice.

Hongbin - That's his choice, and we have to respect it guys.

I raise my head and listen closely: Hongbin took my defense? He who never says a word about me? I heard him continues:

- Leo is a sensible and discreet person, it's not our role to force him to come in to our parties, he must be feeling bad, and we better have to make efforts to integrate his world and understand him. I think that he could feel better and thankful. We were all shy before, me more than anyone else. Leo isn't actually free of it and that's why we must not rush him. He says in a serious voice. The room is really silent. I am concentrated.

Ravi - Well said Hongbin! So now the subject is done, let's do the party!»

They all approved with big joyful screams -God! Guys, we are in the hotel, we will get dragged out...-. But I don't hear N's Voice. Bad sign.

That's strange ... I have never thought that Hongbin could say such nice things about me. It was like a part of him understands me, which I am curious... That appeals to me, but I am too tired to think about it. I feel sad. About what others say about me. But as usually, we will act like nothing happened and we will see each other tomorrow with a smile. I know that I am a guy, and I must not cry but ... When my hand leave the door handle, some of my tears were at the corner of my eyes; then I went to my room while thinking.

I woke up a few hours after, from a foggy sleep. Already in my clothes from the day before and I'm uncomfortable, because I felt down with exhaustion on my bed-cover. I quickly stood-up at once and put my hands of my forehead. Well, a foggy and hard sleep ... Ouch I would not have gone to bed directly after I have cried. I stay like this, a big moment, alone in the room, motionless, only with the melody of the sound of my breathing. But I feel weary, I feel sucked by the emptiness. I fall again on the bed, arms behind my head -as usually- and I started to think about what happened last night. Hongbin took my defense. This idea puts me in lot of troubles. If those accusations, more or less obvious from the others aren't really expected, his defense for my personality is really surprising. It seems that he knows me very well. But how can he understand me that much? Because he is always like that? Or ... Since how much long he is observing me? Whisper a voice in my head.

At this revelation, I opened my eyes and managed to stifle a hiccup in a state of stupor. My muscles straightened immediately and I suddenly sat down at the edge of my bed. Hongbin observes me, I don't see any other explanations ... No, that's not logic. Stay calm Leo and think, I impose to myself, while put my hands behind my neck, like each time that I have a problem - actually, my body language is really easy to understand if you have an eye on me ...-. I really don't know about Hongbin well, not even know how he was when in his childhood or as a teenager. The only knowledge I have about this subject – is the need for isolation, not to be in phase with the other teenagers' interests of your age- provided only from my own experience. Family, I had not missed anything. I wasn't a spoiled-rotten children, but not sad either. I was especially cherished from the love and the warm of my mother, who really took care of me. My father was more authoritative, and also our father-son relationship was less good, my family was welded and I was feeling good with them. On the other hand, since the youngest age, I was never feeling good with the other children at school, with any contact to be honest.

A lot of memories from my past give the image of young idiots and their interests that I don't understand the psyche, and I am who are far away from several galaxies. They were looking at me like I was a condescending alien; I was looking at them like they were vulgar wild animals. About the adults, they were the same, but in older, soured by the time. More snobbish. This is my vision of humanity for most of the people. I have evaluated through books, culture, learn how to deal with the big circle that is growing around my soul. I have always felt less or more bad of my ''difference'', before understand this feeling was inflected to me because of the society's opinions. I always appreciate myself and feeling good of my skin, but this current sickness that I feel is provoked only by the exterior. Because I have learned how to impose my personality in silence. I am, the way I am, that's all. But despite this, I regularly feel bad. Indeed, it's hard to survive in a world where everything is codified.

What possibilities could have been evolved in me differently? A meet maybe? A love with a sad ending? A sudden friendship that would have opened me to the world and given me hope for the human kind? I didn't experience anything like that. I think that the thing that has most marked my life is music. People don't really understand me. They see me as an erased guy, silent and sick of the slightest physical contact. A ghost. ''So why this guy decide to become an idol?'' could be the main question you have. I am erased by the choice, because I don't want to stay with you. I have a lot of things inside me, to show, to exhibit and to explore. I have so many things to say to the world, well, to the world that will accept and listen to me. Maybe I'm not the most beautiful, or the most talented, maybe my face is too much sharp and my voice is not enough melodious. But I am not invisible: I exist. I am a being of flesh, blood, power and convictions. My time will come only once I have said all those things aloud that my heart desires to cry out.

I stopped dead, out of breath. Since how long I was walking? Without noticing it, I stood up and started to walk by circles in the room. I was hot, and stressed out. I am getting excited all alone while talking with introverted me... And I am actually losing the threads of my reasoning. I need to breathe. Yeah good idea, few steps at outside would do me so good. As if to confirm my words, it was then that my stomach started to gurgle. Well actually it's true that I didn't eat anything since the last evening ... Took a decision, I opened my wardrobe, catch my white trench coat with black couture, and went outside of the room. I walked in front of the room of my friends, where I can hear loud and alcoholic laughs. This encouraged me to press the pace and to take a tea for the lunch. The lunch. Shit. I have forgotten that the lunches aren't planned for our trip in this hotel ... And anyway the hour - the metal clock in the corridor indicates 00:20 am - the kitchens are already closed. Gosh ... I am really hungry now, after all those feelings...

I was walking quietly to the kitchen room, that I had spotted when arriving to the hotel and while waiting to have the keys for our rooms. The door isn't closed -one of the advantages of a cheap hotel, in a foreign country, the security is less ...- and as a robber, I entered to a big room full of darkness. The floor is in white tile, like the walls. Like in all those high class kitchens, you can find big tools in metal, deep pans, hotplates, piles of various plates ready for tomorrow's lunch. I hope they don't secure their fridges ... I have some knowledge about the layout of a kitchen restaurant; I head for the "den" part of the pastry chef. Having strong attire for sweets, the only lunch that will come to my mind after a hard day is obviously cakes to feel better... I address a short prayer to the god, put my hand on the fridge's handle and opened it suddenly. The soft light of the binnacle lighted my face, and I already know behind my closed eyes, that I am already successful. I even hear the purring sound of the cooling system.

I opened my eyes and I saw several pieces of different food: chocolate cake, cherry clafouti, floating islands, caramel mousse. On the shelf below, I can see a salad bowl full of eggs beaten in snow white color. I know that the pastry cookers made it on the day before, and they left it to lie, and then, will have it ready for the next morning. Taking a tissue out of my pocket, I quickly took a piece of chocolate cake, piece from the cherry clafouti and a pot of mousse caramel. Crouched behind the counter to steal food in the middle of the night, I feel like a little boy coming to steal some sweets. This idea makes me smile, and even laugh. But when the exploit is done, a sudden fear took me, and I hurried to get out of the kitchen, my booty under my arms. Where can I eat? I must not be surprised ... The easiest way is to leave the hotel.