After this episode, I go back into my room. The next day we gone to the airport and since this day, nothing more happened between Hongbin and I.
That's it. That's my memory, that's what I lived. I have warmned you, at the beginning of the story, but admit that you didn't expected that right ? Hongbin was just a cameo in my life, cameo of 24h in Hungary, in Budapest. Started when he was against the door room, ended when I was the kitchen wall.
This is how things could become complicated and evolutive inside a band. The idole life is very particular. It depends on so many things. Of the success of the band, of the agreement between the members, of the desires of each of us, of obligations and freedom that left the agency, of the fanfom... A relation that could change from a day to another. It could degenerate, becoming out of control, fade, dead, killer, friendly, lovely, stronger, weaker... nothing was previsible, never.
And not everything was always definable. And I admit that since this day, I have think a lot about that. I mean, about the types and reasons of relations ; particularly about love relationship between idoles. Is that a true love to fall in love with a band of the member that you live with every single day in a close and restrain area ? Must we have to show it to the other members or try to keep it secret, to us that lived on each other ? And how to deal with jealousy ? The shame of some business events we are in obligation to do ? Accepted that our loved one will see you being weak, when we can't learn a dance, fall on stage while dancing under the rain, or being reprimand by the leader or the manager ? What to do if the managerof the public realize the existence of this relationship ? A love that, will it survive in time, especially after the end of the career ?
You can guess with everything I said that I don't know where I am about Hongbin. Yes I love him in a certain way, that's obvious. With my own rules, me own passions and non-passions. As I have just say : we have to stop to always want to define everything and explain everything. I have a sort of love for him, that's all. This love... Do I have to left it die ? Or keep it because I a certain way, it protects me ? Is it real ? Am I not in a illusion that I keep since al lthis time ? Has Hongbin changed of opinion on his way ?
Who has the answer to all of this ? Is there a right or a bad choice ? Is there normal or anormal loves ? Right or false ? Is there a prohibited love ?
Is there a prohibited love ?
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Cameo | LeoBin (VIXX) | ENG
FanficWe penetrate the thoughts of Leo who speaks directly to the reader and tells us the memory of an intimate moment that he lived with Hongbin, who has touched him deeply.
