Grayson pov~
We just finished talking to Ian and we waited for him to bring James back to the house so we can talk to him properly. Ian mentioned how it was partly my fault that it had happened, I knew it was. I shouldn't have ever let him go. It was my fault... I hate myself for it.
"Gr-"
"Gray-"
"Grayson!" Ethan shouted, which literally cut me out of my trance.
"What the hell, don't scream at my face Ethan." I complained.
"Sorry, you weren't listening. Anyway Emma found something." Ethan told me, I immediately became interested.
"What is it?" I asked
"James' old computer.. you still remember his password right?" Ethan asked, i nodded my head and followed him to James' old room. I found Emma sitting on the bed when we enter the room.
I was going to enter in the password, but what Emma said stopped me.
"Are you sure we should be doing this? You know James keeps his personal documents on this. He was so hell bent on keeping it away from us before.. Besides what if Ian comes back." Emma explained with a worried look.
"Babe, I understand how you feel.. but think about it, if we know what James thought and felt before we can help him even better with remembering who he was. And besides Ian said it'll take a while and he'll call us when he's near with James." Ethan reassured Emma.
"Hm, okay then.." Emma replied.
"Okay well I want to know." I told them, while I typed his password in.
"How do you even remember his password." Emma asked, I looked at her and smirked.
How do I remember the password James gave me? Well usually I would've just forgotten it but if the password was a date James found memorable, well it wouldn't just slip my mind.
"James and I went out by ourselves, as friends, and he used that day as a password for everything." I told her, I smiled a little because it was a fond memory we both shared.
After the computer loaded I scrolled through his journal entries on the computer. They all had dates on them, I decided to go on the very last entry he had, coincidentally it was the day him and I kissed.
I read it aloud so that emma and Ethan can hear, it read:
" Today was crazy, I told them I needed to leave. Emma and Ethan were accepting, they really didn't have a choice I kicked them out, but Gray wasn't. He wanted me to stay, saying nonsense like he liked me. To be honest I'm glad he was scared to lose me to the point he'd be convinced he liked me. I didn't believe he did like me, but then he kissed me. And my brain scattered and I was shocked. Honestly after that kiss I didn't want to leave.. I thought maybe, just maybe it'll turn out okay. That night I kept thinking what if, but going on the internet made me realize no matter how much I want to stay and no matter if Gray's feelings were real or not, I need a break from everyone and everything, YouTube and Grayson included. I loved him for so long, and people including himself thought it was a joke.. I loved him and it hurt. Maybe it's better to just be friends. Sorry Gray, I have to give up on you.. for my own sake."
James words echoed in my head, his words lingered in my head and I couldn't help but cry for him.
Gosh, this is all my fault.. I shouldn't have let him leave.
Oh James I am so sorry.
I felt a hand on my shoulder, knowing it was my brother I shoved it off and stood up.
"I'm not going to give in, if James can't remember I'll just need to make him fall in love all over again." I told both Ethan and Emma.
"What a cliché thing to say, Gray." Emma teased, I was going to snark back but my phone rang.
It was Ian, he was letting us know they'll be here in 10-15 mins.
I need to figure out what to tell James.
I need to figure out how to face him properly.
Please James, another chance is really what I need. I'll make you happiest, trust me.
———————————
A/N
- Hey guys, I love Grayson too much, haha.
- but I made his kinda doucheey in this story, I love my Grayson bean forever, he'll make a come back tho.
