P.s. Love You the Most ( James Charles and Grayson Dolan Fanfic/ gcd + jcd )

Chapter 30

James's POV

I currently don't know what I'm doing with my life, my feelings are everywhere and nowhere at the same time.

Shawn looks over at me, a small smile adorning his face,
"So did you enjoy yourself?"

We've been talking for awhile now, we've already been on two dates which have honestly been incredible. However the long meaningful talks and light flirting is all it's been. Even so, unlike any guy I've known in my past Shawn makes his intentions clear, he wants to be in a relationship with me. He's made it painfully obvious that he doesn't want to just be friends.

I mentally shake myself from my internal thoughts and focus on the handsome man to the side of me.
"I had an amazing time tonight Shawn."

I smile at him because it's true, I had a great time tonight. Shawn took me to an amazing restaurant for our second date and I had a great time. Both of our dates were extraordinary. We talked about anything and everything and unsurprisingly he's the perfect guy. Just as Drew predicted, Shawn was literally right up my alley and definitely someone I could fall for.

"I had such a great time with you too, even when you slipped on the way to the bathroom." Shawn let's out a laugh at the comedic image and I can't help but hide behind both my hands in utter embarrassment.

"There should've been a warning sister sign or something." I say as I hug myself protectively.

"There was a sign." He says jokingly as he turns onto the street leading to my house.

I move my hands from my eyes and look out my passenger window. Can I just, throw myself out, please?
"I'm literally so blind."

Through the window, I watch as Shawn quickly turns to look at me.
"You're beautiful."

There's so much power coming from those unexpected words, I'm left speechless.

"Um-"

"Was that cringe." I turn to look at him as a small but noticeable blush forms on his face.

"No, that's, that's really sweet." I say softly as we pull up to the front of my house.

Before I can say goodbye the tall man is already jumping out the car and running to my side. Shawn opens my door and gently takes my hand.  The short trek to my front door is quiet, not the awkward silence that usually occurs between two people but the enjoyable kind. The type of silence you can find peace in.

I turn to him as we reach the door, my hand still cradled in his bigger one.

"So,"
I say softly as I look down at my now all too interesting shoes.

Before I can say anything else a finger is placed under my chin, stopping the words hanging from my slightly parted lips.

I'm surprised to find Shawn's head close to mine, any sudden movements would most likely lead to my first kiss at my new house.

I'm honest to god shocked when Shawn moves in without hesitation. His lips are on mine in seconds and it's great. His lips are soft and greedy, moving against mine without pause.

It's great, he really is a good kisser and that's undeniable. It's for these reasons that I'm upset, I'm upset with myself. He's sweet, considerate, and every other component that makes up a perfect man. So, why can't I feel anything? Why isn't this kiss having a bigger effect on me?

I open my eyes slowly and take a peek only to find Shawn's closed. I furrow my eyebrows and force my eyes closed, wrapping my arms around his neck I move closer. I try everything in my power to feel something, anything. I put my entire being into this kiss just to gain some type of reaction that was more, much more.