P.s. Love You the Most ( James Charles and Grayson Dolan Fanfic/ gcd + jcd )

Chapter 34

James's POV

I wake up with a guilty feeling. Why am I always waking up with a negative feeling, can't I wake up refreshed and happy with all aspects of my life? Why is that impossible for me.

I have to see Shawn today and tell him what I'm going to do. I don't plan on leading him on any further. I'm going to be with Grayson, I'm gonna be with the love of my life. The ultimate daddy, love that for myself.

Maybe this 'dinner' was a good thing. I can tell Shawn in person instead of over the phone.

My phone vibrates beside me, signaling that I have a text message. It's from Shawn and it's asking if I'm still on for tonight, of course I say yes. There's no backing out now.

Let's just hope this all goes smoothly.

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10 in the morning went to 6:45 abnormally quickly. I'm quite frankly not prepared but, I will be.

There's a knock on the door 10 minutes later.

'Shit shit shit'

When I open the door I'm greeted with a wide white smile.
"Hey James."

Shawn comes in for a kiss but I kinda, sorta swerve it and move in for a hug. God I'm such an ass but I refuse to lead him on any longer.

"Hey Shawn, shall we go?" I quickly close my door behind me before walking to his car, Shawn follows me after with a slightly confused look on his face.

The car ride to the restaurant is silent although the customary 'how are you' were asked.

When we arrived at the restaurant the atmosphere was different, definitely not the same as our past dates which I guess is understandable. I'm left with a more awkward feeling.

"So, James what have you been up to?" Shawn ask

"Um nothing extraordinary, just makeup, always makeup." I take a sip from my drink before asking him the same question.

"Art, I've been sketching a lot lately." Oh I almost forgot, he's an amazing artist. I've seen pictures of some of his works and they're very detailed and realistic.

I jump when I suddenly feel a hand in mine that was resting on the table.
"James I kinda wanted to ask you something about that. I've told you multiple times how beautiful I thought you are and I was wondering if you'd let me draw you?"

My eyes go wide in surprise, he wants to draw me? I look at his hand which is still holding mine on the table.

'He's not gonna want to draw me after this'

I move my hand from under his and put it on my lap.
"Look Shawn, you have to stop."

Shawn looks at me, the same confused expression he had earlier sketched on his face.

I sigh softly,
"I'm choosing to be with him, the one I told you I loved."

Shawn slouches in his seat, sighing to himself before looking me in the eyes,
"Are you sure? You may not have serious feelings for me now but who knows what can happen in the future."

"I don't know what could happen in the future but I do know what's happening now, I know what my feelings are right now." Shawn looks away dejectedly.

"Look, James if you think- know that this is what you want then I can't change that." I smile softly, extremely thankful for his understanding.

"Thank you so much Shawn, I appreciate that, like, a lot." He smiles at me in return.

"If this guy messes up though, I'm coming in for another chance."

"Omg ok then." I take a sip from my drink although the small smile is still adorning my face.

"I mean it." He says before taking a sip from his own.

The rest of the night is easy, the awkwardness is gone and the guilt eating at me finally dissipates.

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I'm dropped back home at around 8:30 and can honestly say today was a good day. Now that I've finally gotten the whole Shawn thing situated I can now focus on the person that's been eating at my mind for the entirety of the day.

'Grayson'

I probably should've called him right away but I really wanted to get myself together before I jumped into the relationship.

*ding dong

I walk to the front door with a confused expression. I should really get people to start warning me before showing up at my doorstep.

However, the annoyed and confused feeling quickly dissipates when I'm met with the face I was thinking about only seconds ago.

"Grayson?"

'How fucking convenient, like can we please just recognize how convenient him showing up at my doorstep NOW is'

Grayson he looks, defeated. He still looks hot though, when does he not?

"Uh Hey James, can I come in?"

"Of course." I quickly stand aside, allowing him entrance.

I close the door and turn around,
"Grayson I-"

"James." I shut up quickly, looking at Grayson with my full attention.

"Look, James I saw and I guess I can understand. I hurt you and you've decided to move on but, but I can't just sit back and let you be with someone else."

'....what'

Grayson reaches for my hands, that's nice. I like that, a lot. He should hold my hands more often.

"I'm gonna fight for you, I'm sorry but I'm not going anywhere. I'm hoping that the guy messes up soon honestly, sorry for that too." He says the last part quietly but I still hear it nonetheless.

"Wait, Grayson what are you talking about?"

"The guy, the one who was holding your hand at the restaurant." Grayson says with irritation as his hands tighten around my own.

"What? How do you know about that?"

Grayson shrugs his shoulders lightly,
"There was a picture of it on Instagram."

I sigh annoyedly before turning my hands, effectively holding his back.
"Grayson we're not together, I actually met up with Shawn so I could tell him in person that I was in love with someone else."

I step closer as Grayson let's out a sigh of relief. He doesn't register the rest of my sentence until a minute later. I watch as his eyes widen in surprise,
"Just so I don't embarrass myself, I'm the one you're in love with, right?

I roll my eyes playfully before leaning in for a soft kiss.
"Does that answer your question?"

Grayson smiles widely, I'm left floored as I realize it's the same smile I fell in love with what feels like ages ago.

I let out a squeak once I feel strong arms wrap around me, pulling me in closer for another mind-boggling kiss.

Author's Notes
Fucking finally dhowgrjdobsvwlshsjsh
I'm so soft right now 😭😭😭