P.s. Love You the Most ( James Charles and Grayson Dolan Fanfic/ gcd + jcd )

Chapter 33

James's POV

Tomorrow is my dinner with sister Shawn and I don't know how I feel about. Ever since he asked me to do it, all I've been feeling is guilt. I honestly feel like I'm leading him on which sucks because I know exactly how that feels.

I'm currently watching Netflix, eating snacks that would surely give me diabetes down the road. Love that for myself.

Now that I'm alone and semi relaxed my mind has decided to drown me with decisions my heart is not prepared for.

'Be with the love of your life or take a chance with someone else'

Anyone would easily choose the love of their life, I would fucking choose the love of my life if I wasn't scared for my sanity. With Grayson I just don't fucking know, he hurt me and suddenly he's telling me he's in love like ugh. That was a wave I was not fucking prepared for and now I'm literally drowning in a billion possibilities because I overthink things.

Shawn has made his feelings clear for Sister James from the very beginning. Even though I obviously don't have strong feelings for him now, maybe, down the road things could change?

'I want Grayson but I'm scared to have Grayson because fucking shit, that's why'

I throw my head back in frustration
"Oh my fucking God!"

'..I want you, I want to be with you. My brother literally knocked some sense into me and I want to be happy. I want you to be happy with me...'

I practically swooned when he said that, anyone with eyes could see that I'm head over heels. With a couple of sentences he had me right in the palm of his hands again. Just like that. Fuck.

"I need help.."

*ding dong

My head snaps toward the door in bewilderment. Please don't let this be one of the males plaguing my mind right now. I swear to god universe if you fuck me over again I'm-

"James Charles open this door!" I hear Drew yell from the other side.

Oh, thank every divine being that's out there.

I quickly move to open the door and am surprised to meet a fashionably dressed Drew and Laura. Why are they dressed like they're going somewhere sister special?

Drew looks at me in shock before blatant disgust.
"Ok, I don't know if this is like, some new style you're going for but it's not working. You will not go out looking like a bum bitch."

I look down at my oversized ripped pajamas and snort at my best friend's snarky but truthful comments.

"And I should be dressed up because...?" I close the door as they walk through.

Laura gasps at me, eyes squint in obvious disapproval,
"You did not forget we were going to a party today."

'Oof'

"That, oh, well, I can't go." I say quickly before walking back to my living room couch.

Drew takes a look at the mountains of snacks and trash I'm surrounded by and takes off his jacket in silent defeat.
"What the hell happened?"

I fake happiness, smiling even through my troubled mind,
"I'm fine Drew, I've just been so busy lately. Just wanna relax."

"Um, no. Nice try honey." Laura sits by me on the couch before eating one of the chips from an open bag.

I really don't want to bother them with my problems anymore. It feels like all it's been about lately is me, I mean I know I'm going through a midlife crisis right now but, I want my friends to enjoy themselves.