Right after my final class on Tuesday, Ryan caught up with me walking home. We took a detour and walked straight to the cafeteria. He said he needed to tell me something.
The building was semi full and we grabbed a table away from anyone else. Ryan looked at me. He was about to talk but couldn't really get words out. He seemed a little upset.
He was about to speak finally when his phone rang. It was his mom on the caller ID so I knew he had to pick up.
If I thought he looked upset before I was clearly wrong. The facial expressions he had and the tone of his voice drastically changed throughout the conversation. He wasn't on the phone long before he hung up.
I looked at him, concerned. His face was heartbreaking to me. I almost never saw him this sad. Unless it was about his dad.
"My dad's back in the hospital," he mumbled.
Ryan didn't have a great relationship with his father. He was a drug addict who had been admitted to the hospital too many times. Everyone knew him there. He always caused some sort of commotion that had everyone in the hospital kissing his feet to make him stop. Ryan's parents divorced when he was 3 and his mom took care of him over the years. His father pretty much made him go to college. He wanted Ryan to get a real job and make money with a degree. He hated that Ryan was trying to pursue a music career.
"He relapsed again," he added. "He's getting worse."
I reached across the table and grabbed his hand. I laced my fingers between his and let our hands fall under the table. He finally made eye contact with me. I could see the hurt. I could see how he felt betrayed almost.
"I'm here for you, Ryan," I nearly whispered.
He closed his eyes and squeezed my hand. It was as if we might never let go. He opened his eyes and looked at me again.
"I'm going to drop out."
I looked at him in slight shock, but more in understanding than anything.
"I want to spend full time at the apartment. I'll find a small job somewhere. I just know I can't stay here."
"If you ever need anything, you know where I'll be. You can still keep the key to my dorm."
He nodded. We sat for a few minutes quiet. Out of almost nowhere he reached down under the table and grabbed his notebook from his bag. He laid it out on the table, opened it to a specific page, and slid it toward me.
"Can you read these?" he asked, his voice still low and mumbled. "These are for two potential songs."
I started reading them. Both were about his father.
We sat at the table for an hour all together. We proofread and changed lyrics to his songs. The whole time our hands were inseparable beneath the table.
They were unbelievable songs. It was amazing, what they were about. We entitled one 'Nails For Breakfast, Tacks For Snacks' and the other 'Camisado'. Since he was dropping out, I knew he could get these recorded faster and have demos by this weekend. None of the other members of the band went to college, so now they could spend full time writing and recording.
I kept telling him, "Don't worry. Something good's gonna happen. Just wait."
YOU ARE READING
Sweetie You Had Me
FanfictionI've always liked Ryan Ross since we were kids, but I never imagined what would happen if we ever became more than friends... This is my life with Ryan Ross and how a friendship, which was pretty intimate to begin with, became even more.
