Sweetie You Had Me

Sweetie You Had Me Chp. 13

"Hey, uh Ryan?"

We had just walked into his apartment. I needed to get the whole 'smoking' thing out of the way. But all I could think about was Brendon telling Ryan to 'do it'. Did that mean ask me out? I really hoped so.

I looked at him. His eyes were fully focused in mine. His big brown eyes... I mean who knew what song writing genius hid behind them. Disappearing into a process of pure imagination. I wanted to know if...

"What?"

He shook his head, a little irritated that my face showed the expression of a lost addict. The look of total mesmerization and confusion with a heaping dose of want.

I blinked my eyes a few times and broke the grip of his stare. My flip flops clicked on the tile of his kitchen floor. It echoed off the close kept walls cluttered with kitchen ware and photos. He followed close behind me as we walked down the hall and into their only bedroom.

I glanced at the clock in their room. It was 6:00. I threw my bag down in the corner of the room and sat on the bottom bunk next to him. He looked at me. I could feel it. He inched a little closer. I was afraid he might hear my insides beating for him.

"Yes?" his voice intended that the conversation had to be good for how long I was dragging this on.

"Are you okay?"

He jerked his head back a little taken off. He laughed a little and rubbed his fingers along his forehead.

"That's it? You just wanted to know if I was okay?"

"Well no... I mean yes. I just noticed something different about you lately."

I pulled my knees to my chest and continued. I know I had his full attention now. I still wasn't looking at him.

"You're clothes. I can smell it."

I finally looked up at him.

"You know you don't need that. Even when work gets stressful. That's not what you should turn to when you're stressed."

We were quiet for a bit. All I heard was the sound of his breath entering and exiting his body. He looked away for a second. He took a deep breath and shuffled his feet a little.

"It does get stressful. You know that. Though, I am kind of a free man and I can do what I want to do you know."

"But you're almost 19 Ryan. That's still a kid."

"But..."

"Come on. I know you're way better than that. There is no way that smoking is going to make your life easier. You'll just get addicted to it."

He kept looking at his feet. He was leaving me waiting and I started getting antsy. He finally looked up and into my eyes again.

"I can try to quit."

I could still see the doubt written on his face. He had to. He knew I hated smokers. I freaked out if someone just lit a cigarette in front of me. Plus, I could never stand watching him get addicted over the next few years. It would ruin him.

"For me?"

He wrapped his arm around me and laid his hand on my shoulder. He strapped his other arm across my chest so I became enclosed in both his arms.

"Anything for you," he said, his voice slightly hushed.

There was a moment where we just gazed at each other, silent. I could feel his body getting warm. Could it happen? We were friends, but was that all...

He leaned in slow and kissed me. My body pulsed, trying to take in all the emotion I felt from him enter my body. It was anything I could imagine. It was intoxicating. It was both of our first kisses.