Ben's P.O.V
"What do you think when you see me?"
Her questioning face stares back at me as she lies in a fragile state.
"When I see you I can barely think if I'm honest. Being around you is like being high... I'm so unaware of everything else around us. I only see you, I hear you and... and I can feel you. When I see you I wonder how I ever deserved someone like you, how you were even a fan of my work. But I mostly think about how grateful and lucky I am to have you." I smile slightly.
She stares at me for a minute whilst she takes it all in. Mel then looks away as her cheeks blush slightly and she smiles.
"You're weird... But so romantic. I'M sure you don't really think that, I mean it's only me. I put you through so much, even thinking I've run away or I've died... Your fans hate me, I hate me... I'm sure you hate me. I'm so ugly and all your other fans are gorgeous... It just doesn't make sense to me."
She lies on the hospital bed looking over at me in the chair.
"Love doesn't make sense you just have to believe in it." I state.
"I believe." She smiles.
"I believe too." I smile.
She closes her eyes and once again gets comfortable in bed. It's 1pm time for her nap. As I look over her I notice the stitches in her leg and in her hand. The scratch and bruise under her eye, then all the rest of bruises and scratches covering her body. She had a lucky escape from the accident, I guess god did listen to my prayers.
Her nurse comes in and smiles at me. She checks Mel's notes and changes one of her drips.
"Ben why don't you go take a break? You look so tired, go home and take a nap. I promise if anything changes I'll call you." She looks at me concerned.
"I'd rather sleep here, I can't go home that's about an hour away!"
"Come on I'm taking you back to ours." I turn around to see Mel's mum in the doorway.
"No I swear I'm fine, I just need a cup of tea."
I look up as both women stare at me, concerned.
"No Ben I'm getting you a tea and you can sleep in Mel's bed." Mel's mum is stubborn when it comes to our well being.
I groan and get out the chair. I kiss Mel's forehead and whisper 'I love you princess, I'll be back soon.' Then walk out the room with Mel's mum.
*****
I wake up in Mel's bed, hugging the duvet. It smells of her so it's comforting. It's so weird to be in her bed alone, knowing she's not even here.
I sit up in bed and look around her room, it hasn't really changed but it looks so different. I guess I never take much notice of her room anymore as I'm always in it. I see the huge frame with 6 smaller frames within it, 'Friends' is sculpted in the middle. From top left to right it goes; a picture of her and Phee, a picture of me and her and then a picture of us all. Then bottom left to right it goes; Mel and Emmie, Mel and Freddie and then a picture of Mel and most of her friends from school.
I really like that frame if I'm honest. It's a small cute way of showing her love for us all. Around it she's wrote on the white wall in pens, little phrases that mean something with us all. Stuff like 'Promise? Promise.', 'Silly Sexy Sausages.' etc. Just private jokes or something special with us all.
I climb out of bed and walk over to the boxes on the floor in front of her wardrobe, I know I shouldn't look but I just have to. As I open the lid of the top one I see the words on a piece of paper 'To Ben....' I take out the piece of paper and read it.
To Ben,
I know you probably hate me for leaving you. And although whilst writing this I don't know how I've left you, I can tell you I'm very sorry.
In this box you will find envelopes for every situation you may come across... Look on the envelopes to find the right situation for the day or time and read it! :) Ben you'll always be in my heart, I love you loads. Keep on smiling and show the world your talent! I love you Mister, don't ever forget that! Thankyou for being such an amazing boyfriend and making the final time of my life the bestest! I love you! Please don't cry, you know it when you cry! I want you to be happy and sing. Don't forget me, love you xxx
Once I finish reading, it's only then that I realise I'm crying. To think this could have come so much sooner upsets and scares me so much! To think she thought I could forget her upsets me too. But mainly the fact she took the time to write it all out for me makes me realise just how much we need each other.
I put the letter back in the box and close it up, I open the others to see Phee has one, the other boys have one, Emmie has one and her family have one. She sat there and wrote hundreds of envelopes for us all.. I decide to read Phee's and the boys ones.
To Phee,
I'm sorry I've left you, I just hope I kept my promise to you. I don't know if I have at the moment of writing this but I think I have kept it. Anyways in the box you'll find lots of envelopes of different colours, each one has a different situation on it. If your situation ever matches the one on the envelope, open it and read the letter inside. I hope you always remember you were an extremely close friend of mine! I love you girl, I hope you also marry Mike and have a beautiful family! <3 I love you babe xx
To Mike, Dan & George
When you read this I would have left you, sorry for that. I'm hope I didn't cause too much pain.. Anyways look in the box and see that each of you have a pack of envelopes tied up, take yours out and look through... Each envelope has a different situation on it, open them for the right situation. I hope it makes you feel better :) I love you boys! Thanks for showing me true friendship and for accepting me! You guys showed me a great time till the end of my life! Thankyou so much! Now go be as successful as you deserve to be! Love you fellas! Xx Btw Dan tell Emm I love her lots and miss her like hell! Xx
With that I just cry some more. I can't believe someone could take so much time to make sure we remember she cares. This is something I love about my girl. I can't lose her anytime soon.
