Shipwrecked (Lawlorff)

XXII

(Sam's POV)

Today's the first stop on the tour: the bahamas. I'm excited to just relax after all the attention we've been going through lately. Even though we are still in the center of the spotlight, Kian and I just want to chill out on the beach today. We are getting new people on the boat with each stop, new fans coming to the tour dates. We still have the California tour girls, and on each stop, we get more girls on the boat. It's going to be very packed by the end of the week. We have five more stops and then we continue on the boat for another two weeks. Basically it's just a regular cruise when the week is done and the meet and greets are over. 

Hopefully we can make it through the rest of the week without causing too much attention. I really wanted to relax on this tour. Now, I really just want to stay inside and cuddle with Kian all day. 

Don't get me wrong, dating Kian is the best. It's just a bit too much with all the attention at the moment. I don't ever want him to leave me. If he ever leaves my side, the hate would consume me again and I'd be forced to go back to previous coping mechanisms that did not prove helpful. 

"Babe." Kian says, tapping me out of my sleep.

"Mm?" I groan. I don't want to get up yet. I hate waking up.

"The boat docks in an hour. We should get ready." 

I nod and Kian jumps out of bed and starts quiffing his hair.

He really cares about his hair a lot. 

I roll out of bed and hug Kian from the back. He kisses the top of my head and continues doing his hair. I rest my head on his shoulder and close my eyes. He giggles as he styles my hair. I open my eyes and look in the mirror, and it doesn't look too bad.

  We get finished doing our hair and Kian goes over to his suitcase and pulls out a tank top and some shorts. He sets them on the bed and then fishes in the suitcase for his swimsuit and sunglasses.  

The beach sounded good at first to me, but now I remember that I have to wear a sleeveless shirt so as to not die of heat exhaustion. I don’t really want to wear a sleeveless shirt, it will expose the fact that I cut myself.  

I managed to hide it for this long, I wore sweaters all the time and rarely went outside. I guess today I’ll just pile on the bracelets.  

I walk over to my suitcase lying next to Kian’s. I pull around thirty bracelets from the small pocket and Kian gapes at me.  

“Woah, what are you going to do with all those- oh.. I forgot.”  

I fake a smile and pull out something that looks like his, a tank top and shorts combo. I find my swimming shorts and put that on the pile too.  

Kian takes his shirt off and switches to the tank top and I do the same after. He looks sadly at the cuts on my arms and I look down at them and frown. Why did I ever make such a stupid mistake? It’s caused me to have to hide them for years, and it’s too much work. Kian smiles apologetically and comes over and hugs me.   

Tears cloud my eyes. He cares so much about me now, so why couldn’t he have noticed before? Why does someone have to gash cuts into their arms for someone to notice their pain?   

I close my eyes in order for the tears to remain inside my eyelids, but one escapes and trails down my face and onto my lip.  

Kian plays with my hair and then leans in to kiss me softly. He then wipes the tear from my cheek and hugs me tighter.  

“You shouldn’t have to hide it any longer.” he announces.  

“What? I can’t have people see them!”