Shipwrecked (Lawlorff)

IV

(Sam's POV)

Acacia. Acacia Clark, the girl who sent nudes to guys while we were dating, and lusted over my Kian the whole time. I explained to her several times, while trying to break up with her. She was going to be my beard if she wanted to stay with me. Everyone hated me enough as it was, and I just couldn't handle the hate of being gay too. She said she understood, but later I found out that she tried to get Kian to hate me instead. It worked for awhile, too. And now she's standing in front of us. Of all people, the one person I hate the most to see is standing in front of us.

"Acacia.." I say, seeing her rolling her eyes at us.

"What are you two doing here?" she asks, playing with the ends of her fake-ass extentions.

"The 2nd o2l tour is on this cruise," Kian says, making her sound dumb.

"You didn't know that?"

"Well, no. I have a life, guys. Unlike ya'll. I go to cool parties, meet cool people, blah blah blah. I'm modeling too, and singing for my new band Watercolor. Yeah, you could say life's great for me." Acacia brags.

What the hell is she going on about, that arrogant bitch?!

"We didn't ask how your life was, Acacia." Kian snarls, swiping the card into the door until it beeps.

I turn the knob and attempt to escape this awkward conversation, but Kian extends his arm out and grabs me by my ribs, causing me to stay.

"Oh, Sam. Whatever, we all know you just want to scope out the room so you can see where you and Kian will have sex later," Acacia scolds. My entire face turns bright red, and I'm not sure if it's with anger or embarassment. She, sadly enough, was the only person who knew I was gay, and liked Kian.

"Wait what?" Kian asks, looking at me, and then Acacia, and then back at me.

"She's just making shit up, like she always does." I hiss at her, "Right, Cacia?"

She rolls her eyes. "Whatever you say, Pottorff."

She enters her room and I storm off into Kian and mine. 

"Okay, time to talk." Kian says, as if the whole Acacia conversation hadn't ever happened.

He sits down on the bed, and then we both realize there's only one bed. AND IT'S SHAPED LIKE A GODDAMN HEART. 

He laughs like an idiot and so do I. "We got the honeymoon suite,"

We laugh it off and then it seeps into my brain that I'll be sleeping in the same bed as Kian. for. the. next. two. weeks.

Oh lord, is this heaven?!

Even though it was simply a mistake, I'm glad it happened. It worked out for me, I guess.

"Do you wanna go get a different room? Or a cot or something?" I asked, wondering what he'd want.

He shook his head no.

"I'm fine, if that's okay with you."

"Yeah, that's okay," I say, but I mean HELL YEAH THAT'S FUCKING OKAY HOLY SHIT AM I DREAMING I LOVE YOU KIAN SHIT THIS IS PERFECT. 

But of course, I try to play it off cool, as if I'm not in love with him. But sadly for me, I am. This is going to be hard, sleeping in a bed with him and not being able to cuddle up and kiss him. 

"So, the whole thing where I said I needed to talk to you.." he starts to say.

"...I've noticed some things about you and I'm really worried. You need to tell me the truth here, Sammy. You trust me right?" 

I nod. 

He sighs.

He moves in closer to me and my heart beats fast. He grabs my wrist and pulls it towards him slowly. And then, he shoves my long sleeves of my sweatshirt up, revealing hundreds of scars. I try to pull my arms away from him, but instead, the force is cancelled out by him pulling them closer to him. He starts crying, and I have no clue what to do. 

"Why....Why would you do this to yourself?" he mutters through tears that fall on the cuts.

I look down. I never wanted him to know.

He keeps the wrists in his hands and leans down to kiss each and every scar I've ever made. I'm shocked, because usually you just see the boys do that for the girls in movies and on tumblr. It shows how much they care, but Kian doesn't care about me that way does he?

He sniffles his nose and pulls me into his arms and lays down on the bed. He hugs me tightly through sobs and I begin to cry as well.

"Please, Sam. Promise me, promise that you won't ever as much as touch a razor blade again," he sobs, crushing my ribs in his embrace.

"Okay, Kian. Anything for you,"

He laughs at my dumb attempt at a joke. It's my impersonation of him, seeing as he always says that to me.

He wipes his tears with his free hand, still hugging me tight to his warm chest.

"How long has this been going on?" he asks, placing my head carefully on his shoulder.

God he's just too perfect.

I gulp. "Um..longer than you'd think.."

His eyes ball up with tears again. God, I need to stop doing that to him.

"I'm much better now," I ensure him. Little does he know, it's all because of him that I don't cut as often. 

"Good.." he breathes out, calming down a bit.

He blinks hard. 

I can tell he has something to say, he just doesn't want to.

"What?" I ask, hoping to prompt him into telling me.

He sighs. "You're anorexic too, aren't you?" 

I nod weakly.

"Can I- can I see your ribs..?"

I nod again. I throw off my sweatshirt and reveal what I have left of a stomach. He puts his hand over his mouth. I guess he has the right to. I sort of look like a skeleton at this point.

He runs his fingers over the rib bones and begins crying again.

"Sam, what compelled you to do all this? Like seriously? Who the hell has got you thinking you're not good enough?! You're PERFECT, Sam. Please, listen to me. You are. You always have been. Okay, you are literally perfect, so please. PLEASE. Stop all this nonsense. No more cutting. No more starving yourself. I'm gonna help you out of this, we're going through this together now. You hurt me like nothing else when I see you hurting, and it'll help both of us to see you happy for once, okay? I need you to be happy for me. Will you please do that for me?"

"I'm only happy when I'm with you," I admit shyly. 

"Well then I sure as hell better stay by your side for the rest of our lives, huh?" he laughs.

But oh god, how I wish he would do exactly that.

I look at him, and I know what needs to be done. I need to tell him how I feel, I have to get it off of my chest. I just don't want to change our friendship in the process. 

"Kian... I gotta tell you something..."

"Yeah sure what is it?"

"I lov-"

Then he cuts me off by pressing his lips to mine.

He pulls away and smiles. "I know. I love you, too."