REVIVE ▸ d. winchester [2] ✔

Chapter 32

 "You're going to kill Dean Winchester instead."

Dean Winchester.

The name had her mind pulling on strings, loose ends that hadn't made any sense in a long time being yanked at in every direction. Each pull and tug unraveled a jumbled mess of thoughts, memories tossed about in her mind and painting pictures of long forgotten moments. And all she could do was stare ahead, her breath caught in her throat just as her mind was caught in a rampage of recollection.

"This going to be a regular thing?"

She can remember the ghost of fingers brushing against hers as she lay in the dark, her mind tormented by terrible thoughts but so carefully dragged out of them by a human touch. She remembers the presence of another laying beside her in the night keeping her sane, keeping her from falling to the fate of night terrors.

"No one's gonna touch you, not if I can help it."

She remembers sitting face to face, watching his careful, steady eyes as he cared for her wounds. The green tint of his irises and the soft crinkle to his eyes, delicate details long since forgotten. 

"Oh, god. No, Jackie. Hey, stay with me."

She remembers gun shots, followed by urgent yelling and panic, all while she lay on the floor, unable to move or say anything.

"I'd wake up every night. Every hour. To make sure you were safe. But it wasn't enough. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

She remembers calloused yet soft fingertips brushing her skin as tears rolled down both her cheeks and his, the pain so intense she couldn't do much but stare up into his eyes. 

"You're a hunter, like me. You save people, and you love doing it. You're one of the good guys."

And she remembers the pressure of lips against hers, cold from the snow but still radiating warmth throughout her entire body, hands pulling her in close.

"God, I missed you so much."

Jackie's heart wrenches as each moment passes, not knowing what to say or do. She no longer knew who she was. She didn't know who she should believe or even what side she was on. All she knew was that those feelings, the emotions she felt as she finally remembered, those were worth feeling. She hadn't known it for the past few months, but she missed them. She'd missed him, all of him.

"I remember him." 

Azrael's head tilts in the slightest of ways, not prepared for the girl's response. He lets out a small laugh, one without a smile. "Of course you do. He's the one that tried to murder me."

Jackie can't help but slowly shake her head. Azrael may be right, but there was more to it. There had to be. "No... you're wrong."

"I'm-" Azrael laughs again, this time more as a scoff of disbelief. "I'm wrong?"

Azrael's response only spurred Jackie further, his reactions leading her mind to tell her that the crazy voice in her head was right. Azrael was wrong. Everything about the archangel was wrong. 

"I can't kill him, not him."

Azrael's eyes flare in the presence of her defiance. The woman that for so long had obeyed and complied so easily was so suddenly slipping out of his grasp, and he struggled to keep his hold. 

"He's a hunter, Jackie. They're not worthy-"

"I'm a hunter, just like him. If he's not worthy, then how can I be?" Jackie struggled to grasp Azrael's concepts, the logic suddenly going over her head. For so long, she had this boundless trust in him. From where it came from, she had no idea. But she had never questioned her position, her worthiness of being at Azrael's side or why she, of all people, would be the one to fulfill a prophecy of such great magnitude.