"For how long?"
"Seungmin-"
"How long have you two-" I pointed at Chan. "-kept this from me?"
"He's been struggling with it before I met him, Seungmin."
"So for awhile." I sniffed. "What's even wrong with him? I don't understand."
"The surgery he had went well, but his body isn't taking the new bone marrow."
"Is he dying?"
Chan went quiet and instead, moved his eyes to the sleeping Hyunjin.
"He's going to die, isn't he?"
"Aplastic Anemia can go to that extent. But I don't know for sure." Chan replied. "Everyone is praying that he stays strong and pushes through."
I looked at Hyunjin. He looked so pale and lifeless. His arms looked bruised, purple bruises. His lips were trembling with the oxygen mask cover his nose and mouth, helping him breath.
Damn you, Hwang Hyunjin. Damn you for making me fall in love with you. Damn you for falling so sick that you're on the edge of death and that was the time I realized I loved you. Damn you for worrying more about me and not giving me any room to worry about you.
"That nurse at the desk." Chan started. "How does she knows you?"
"A week ago." I started. "I attempted suicide and nearly succeeded."
"Seungmin!" Chan exclaimed.
I looked down, feeling guilty. "I overdosed."
"Why would you do that?" Hyunjin's groggily morning voice rang in my ears and I jumped in surprise.
Hyunjin's eyes were open, staring right into mine.
"Oh my god." I covered my mouth. "You dummy, why did you keep this from me?" I asked.
Hyunjin sat up, blinking to try and keep his eyes open. He took a deep breath before looking at me again.
"I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't want to drag you into my business-"
"But I dragged you into mine!" I retorted.
A pregnant silence placed itself in the room, only thing hearable was the sound of Hyunjin's loud breaths.
"You're depressed." He stated. "You have anxiety. That's. . . Some scary stuff."
"And you're in the hospital, dying." I retorted again. "That's some terrifying stuff, because you don't know if you're going to make it or not, you don't get the choice."
"And that's okay-"
"No! It's not!" I shouted. Hyunjin flinched. "Do you know how bad I want to slap you right now?"
"Why?"
"Because you're a dumb idiot that let me fall in love with you but yet you're dying and I may never have a chance." I said angrily before standing and walking out.
I didn't understand this color.
