I hated going to school knowing Hyunjin was in the hospital, possibly dying. I could loose him at any moment and I wouldn't be there to say my last goodbye.
I decided after school everyday since then, I would visit him. Today was one of those days.
What do I say to the nurse? I'm his boyfriend. I'm not his boyfriend but, it's pretty close. We haven't kissed but that's only because he has a face mask that helps him breathe.
Usually when walked into the room, Hyunjin was up. He was sleeping this time. It didn't worry me. I was just glad he was getting some sleep.
I didn't bother to sit on the chair. I sat on the floor on my knees, taking Hyunjin's hand as I rested my head on the bed. I closed my eyes.
Hyunjin's hand was cold. I didn't like that.
I eventually just fell asleep.
Suddenly being pulled from the bed, from the floor, from Hyunjin's hand shocked me. I woke up to the sudden tug.
Opening my eyes, I could hear the loud heart monitor go off at a fast speed. They were loosing him, weren't they?
It was Chan pulling me and I immediately stood on my own, out of his grip.
"Seungmin-"
"What's happening? Will he be okay?"
"Someone get them out!" One of the doctors shouted.
A nurse came towards us and beckoned us towards the door to leave. I shook my head. "No. You tell me he's going to be okay."
"Sir, we don't have that information."
"Seungmin-"
"No." I shook my head.
When Chan saw the tears in my eyes, he frowned. "Please, Seungmin."
He ended up pushing me out the door while I screaming no. I was afraid of loosing him.
That day was probably the worst day of my life. Sitting in the waiting room next to Chan, and soon Hyunjin's parents joined us. I hated it. I didn't know whether the person I fell in love with would make it.
I didn't know if my favorite color would leave. Like on a canvas, there were many colors that littered what once was a plain white color. It had many colors from the memories I made and Hyunjin's was the brightest and prettiest. Wherever it was on the canvas, it always stood out in my eyes. To have that color wiped from the canvas was like having the sun wiped from our lives.
That color was the only color I felt could keep me living.
