It's a heartbreaking situation i'm up in, but I can't control.
Breyona.
I woke up with the pen and pad in my hand from last night. I could feel the dried up tears on my face. I sighed and stood up, stretching. I grabbed my phone from under my pillow. All I had were business emails and texts. I had a couple texts from Mia regarding the divorce, but I didn't feel like responding to anything so I threw my phone back onto the bed and got my suitcase out. I pulled out a bikini and a little sundress to go over it. I just wanted to relax and enjoy my vacation on the beach.
I went to take a shower before putting on my clothes and walking out onto the patio that was connected to my suite. I had a glass of wine and a view of the beach. The three hours I spent out on the patio were very productive. I answered all my emails, set up some interviews, photo shoots, studio sessions, meetings with Mia, I even got some prayer time in. Even though I was technically still working, at least it was in a peaceful setting.
After sitting there for so long, I was now hungry. There was this one restaurant that Chris and I had been to a couple times when we came to Miami. Even though I loved the food, for some reason I could not remember what it was called.
"Come on Bre, think." I was getting nowhere. I've probably been to over a hundred restaurants in my lifetime.
"Should I?.." I asked myself, looking at Chris' contact name. It would only be a two second conversation. If he started talking about anything else, I could just hang up. I sighed before clicking the call button. It rang a couple times. I was regretting my decision and was about to hang up until I heard his voice, which caught me completely off guard.
"Hello?"
"Hey.."
"Wassup?" He cleared his throat.
"Umm.. I was just... what's that restaurant called that we liked in Miami?"
"Yardbird?"
"Yes!" I said, slapping my forehead.
"Was that all you needed?"
"Yeah, thanks.."
"Oh..you're welcome."
"Okay, bye."
"Wait!"
"Yes, Chris?"
"I couldn't sleep last night. All I could think about was you."
"Well I slept great." Bullshit, you were sobbing like a kid.
"Please don't shut me out like this Bre."
"Chris why do we have to keep going through this? I feel like we've had the same conversation a hundred times."
"Why do I have to keep saying i'm trying to save our marriage? I feel like i've said that a hundred times."
"How many times do I have to tell you that there's nothing you can do to save it? I feel like i've said that a thousand times." I said, putting emphasis on a thousand. He sighed.
"I'm not gone give up so get used to it." I hung up. I couldn't take another second of the conversation. I got up and went back into the suite. I slipped on my slides and grabbed my keys. Food. Yes, that'll help. I hope no one recognizes me. I love my supporters, but sometimes I just wanted to feel normal. I wanted to be Breyona Brown.
I sat in the restaurant, eating my lunch and trying to hold back tears. I missed my marriage, I missed my man. I pulled out my phone, debating on if I should call my mom or my sister. I finally decided to call my mom since she's older and has been through this situation before. She'll understand.
