Jinyoung is 23 years old and has a big passion for writing.
He often finds himself to be depressed and thinking about his dark past.
One day, he meets a mysterious guy named Jaebum who might help him get through all of that.
WARNING: This story will contain self harm and the mentions of suicide so if you get triggered by those topics then I recommend you don't read. Thank you, enjoy!
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It's been three days since the night out with JB and I sadly haven't heard anything from him since then.
Jackson was off at work most of the time so I found myself feeling a bit lonely lately.
Sometimes, when I'm alone for too long, my mind wanders off into places that aren't safe for me. Mainly some dark memories that come back to me.
I remember back when I was teenager, I had suffered from bullying and I felt so drained and depressed every single day.
I would come home from school with bruises all over my body and one day, I just couldn't take it anymore so I had grabbed a razor blade and I used my skin as a canvas of my pain.
I still to this day remember what those bullies used to say to me and I still feel worthless some days...
Today was one of those days.
There was thoughts running through my head about going to the bathroom and recreating that canvas of pain.
I stared at my bathroom door and was about to stand up from my bed but I was stopped by a sudden noise that my phone had made.
I reached over to the other side of my double sized bed and checked the notification.
JB: Hi!
My eyes immediately lit up and I forgot all about my previous thoughts.
Me: Hey
JB: So I was thinking... could we maybe hang out today?
Me: Yeah! I'd love that
JB: Cool. I'll pick you up in an hour
I jumped up from my bed in excitement and rushed over to my closet to pick an outfit. It sucks that Jackson isn't here to help me because he was an expert in fashion. But I wasn't disappointed with my choice though.
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When an hour had passed, I was standing outside my apartment waiting for JB. After a few minutes, I saw him walking with his hands in his pockets. He gave me a small smile once he got closer and I gladly returned it.
"Hey!" I said.
"Hi" he replied.
"Where are we off to today?" I asked as we started walking somewhere. He only shrugged his shoulders in response. "I don't know. How about we just take a little walk." he offered and I nodded my head in agreement.
We walked to an unknown route in comfortable silence so I took this opportunity to examine his features. I also took notice in the outfit that he was wearing and thought that he looked wonderful.
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It looked like he was really deep in thought and I really liked it when he looked so concentrated on something. I kept thinking about mine and Jackson's talk about me liking him and immediately felt a blush creep on my cheeks.
"This looks like a nice place to sit." he broke the silence and snapped me out of my creepy thoughts. I looked around the place we were at and we were by a pretty old looking bridge that had a beautiful view of the lake and the city.
"Yeah, it does. Shall we sit?" I asked and he nodded. We sat down beside each other on the edge and looked out at the still water and city life a bit further away.
"How have you been feeling?" he asked which caused me to keep my gaze at the water and bite my lip. I don't really want to tell him...
"Fine." I replied. I could see from the corner of my eye that he turned his head to look straight at me.
"Jinyoung." he started. "Be honest. Look at me." he said. I turned my head and looked into his eyes.
"I'm fine." I tried to sound as convincing as possible but it didn't look like it worked.
"Really?" he raised his eyebrows. I swallowed the saliva in my mouth and slowly nodded. "Mhm... sorry, but I don't believe you." he chuckled slightly.
I sighed. "Okay, fine... I've been feeling a bit lonely if I'm honest."
"Why's that? don't you live with your friend?" he questioned.
"Yeah but he's off at work most of the time. I work from home but he doesn't." I explained.
"You could've just texted me and we could've hung out sooner." he said.
I only nodded and looked away. I don't think I'm ready to tell him how serious it is yet.
