The Heartache He Gives

Chapter 1

(^^^^^For those of you who don't know what bend looks like....well at least that's what google showed me so don't roast me if I'm wrong)

(Unedited)

I come to my senses and finally get out of the shower, absolutely nervous about today, my first day in Mountain View High school and just thinking about it makes me nauseous

I'm really trying to make a good first impression, with that being said for the first time in a long time I actually put some effort into my outfit, replacing the baggy but comfortable clothes with some figure fitting ones

Which isn't really my style but I thought maybe if I look like I didn't just woke up from the dead I would actually make friends and look easy to approach, so I talked myself into actually leaving my room for once and went shopping a week before today, that day didn't go as planned because as soon as I got there I wanted to do nothing but leave, the store was swarming with people and I got anxious at the sight alone

Brushing my teeth,and blow drying my hair I think of styles I could do to it but end up being content on how it came out after drying it out,
going back into my room, I grab my phone and my belonging before going downstairs to join Cindy

"G-Good Morning" I say with a blush spreading on my cheecks slightly embarrassed at my struggles to say such a simple two worded sentence

"Lilian what have I said about that" she responds looking up at me from her purse

"that I-I sh-shouldn't feel emb-embarrassed when I speak." I reply

She tells me that all the time but I can't help myself,I hate that people see me struggling to get words to flow out of my mouth

People are judgmental if not out loud then in their heads and that terrifies me, I know it's unhealthy but I'm the type of girl that cares what others think of me, my insecurities are the main reason for that, I feel as if I be what others want me to be than that leaves them no room for them to judge or talk about me

"Exactly" she speaks up while I go to make myself a bowl cereal, I would usually skip breakfast but since Cindy is here she'll have my head before I could walk out the door with an empty stomach

"Are you excited for school today?" she asks as I sit down in a stool with the near to no full bowl in hand

"A l-little nerv-vous" I truthfully state

"You shouldn't be nervous at all,it will be great" I give her a small smile, before looking down at my cereal

"I hope s-so" I whisper for only me to hear, at least one of us here are thinking positive

"You look great by the way,I'm sure you'll make friends quickly...not that that matters" she says looking back and forth from the coffee machine and me

"You really think I'll make friends quickly?" I say, excitement laced within my voice at the mention of friends

"Yeah, I do" She says and goes to seal her coffee cup shut meaning she's ready to leave

Finishing up my cereal, I wash my dish and grab a water bottle , all while Cindy patiently waits at the front door for me

Not wanting to keep her waiting any further , I grab my stuff and head out, getting into the car already feeling light headed that we are getting closer and closer to what I've been worrying about for these past couple of days

Facing the window I drown in my own thoughts, What if they make fun of me? What if it's a repeat of my old school? A cycle I'll have to go through again which I don't want to deal with,this is my junior year meaning I have one more grade before I am done with high school and I want to enjoy it, I don't exactly hate school, there are times where I question the person who invented it but most times I enjoy going