heartbeat | smiitz

e l e v e n

"its all lies darling"

—

jaren did end up leaving the bathroom. he was trying to make it out of the hotel room so he could go out and think but cameron caught him and pulled him into the hallway.

"why'd you kiss me?" cameron whispered.

"i don't know, got caught in the moment i guess.."

lies.

"did you feel anything?" cameron questioned.

jaren thought for a little, "no, it was just a kiss cameron, could we forget it?"

lies lies lies

"oh, yeah sure. im going to go get ready. breakfast at 9." cameron cleared his throat, walking back into the room.

jaren shook his head at himself. he made a last second decision that he needed time to himself. so he did, he left.

-

all jaren knew was that he was at a bar. and that the whiskey he had was really good. also that he left his phone at the room and he had no idea what time it was.

considering it was dark, he thought somewhere between 8 or 9.

he took a deep breath and set down money for the whiskey, then walked outside. it was chilly and jaren didn't have a jacket, he just wore the oversized hockey shirt he had on last night.

he asked someone for directions back to the hotel, after memorizing them the canadian stumbled his way to the hotel.

upon entering the hotel room everyone in the room immediately got up.

"where the fuck have you been?!" john yelled at him, pulling him into a hug.

"jaren did you..drink?" jay asked him, pulling away from the hug he gave him.

"maybe.." jaren mumbled.

john rolled his eyes, grabbing the canadians hand and dragging him into the hallway. which gave him flashbacks of cam.

"why'd you drink and where did you go? you just left randomly and you left your phone here so no one was able to reach you. you worried us all jaren." john rambled on, sounding like his mother.

"i kissed cameron then fucking told him i didn't feel anything. im an idiot, i fucked up. that was my chance to be with him and i fucked it up!"

"that's why he's upset? he locked himself in his hotel room and only let toby in. jaren you need to talk to him, you hurt him you fucking retard."

john shook his head then pulled jaren into a hug.

"i know it's hard jaren, i know you are hurting but cameron loves you, in either a friend way or more, he does. now talk to him okay? tell him how you feel."

jaren nodded. he asked for the room number then headed over to cameron's room.

he knocked twice, no answer. he knocked again,

"go away."

—

A/N: this chapter is for goodguymitch cause i told them it would get happier and in this chapter it didn't :)