The Mating Games

Chapter 32- Oh baby

Wow guys... been a while but here is the first chapter of 2019

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The pack looked the same; the same houses, the same trees and the same people. It hurt to think that life had resumed as normal while I was gone, that the people I loved could and would live without me. After the initial shock had worn off and the excitement bubbled down, I had the strangest feeling like I was an intruder in their lives, like I wasn't needed or wanted here. Being away for so long had just solidified all my darkest fears and driven a wedge between my psyches that was allowing negative thoughts to take over. I had needed to get away, to be alone as ironic as that sounded; I had been alone most of the time when I was taken, my only companion was the stifling quiet of the room but I had quickly learned that the quietness of unsaid words was even more unbearable.

My family had coddled and sweet talked me, begging me to tell them things I didn't know; my mother had snapped and yelled after that, claiming I was keeping things from her but I didn't know what she wanted to hear. She was beginning to unnerve me, like a trapped cat with its claws out. She was beginning to change, morphing into someone I didn't know. Always asking questions about the shadows and the witch; she wanted me try all these different kinds of herbs and teas to help me remember but I wasn't even convinced there was anything in my memories worth all the trouble.

Isabel was now just a faceless name, the features of her dark face blending into the night sky and I couldn't remember no matter how hard I had tried. Theo had been so patient, more patient than I had ever thought possible; he knew what I needed before I even knew and I was thankful to him. He is my light at the end of the tunnel, my saviour when things seemed so lost. He understood when I said I needed space, when I had told him I wanted to be alone, not forever but just for a little so I could clear my head. Although he looked reluctant he had let me leave the house, by myself and go for a walk; the longing in his eyes were striking and my mind had to rewind trying to remember a time when he had ever been so transparent but it couldn't. Theo was also changing before my very eyes and I just hoped when he stopped, that I would still be what he wanted. But that's how I found myself wandering around, lost in thought, lost in my mind.

The pack was the same but different; it had the same people and the same buildings but it didn't feel the same. Or maybe it was me that was different, I had changed and suddenly the confident and outspoken person I once was, was fading into the background. The last year of my life was moulding me, changing me in ways that I didn't know how to fix. My shoulders are always tight and bunched, waiting for the next bad thing to happen to me; constantly looking behind me for danger. I was becoming nervous and paranoid whenever the sun would whisper goodnight. The forest, in all its beauty, was a horrid nightmare for me now. It hung like a bad smell in my life, taunting me with its whispers and secrets; the trees talked at night, I know they do. April had called me crazy the first time I had tried to explain to them, she said I was imagining things and that trees don't talk. I hadn't bothered to explain things after that incident, I lost the confidence in my memory. Maybe I was going crazy?

I was so deep in thought that I hadn't noticed the person who had fallen into step with me. Collin wasn't looking at me, he was merely walking, like he did this every day. The pack bustled with activity and people waved and smiled but I could barely make myself look them in the eye.

"They missed you, you know," was the first thing he was said to me. His face stayed neutral, head turned to a small stall of handmade necklaces. He reached out, his fingers tracing the small beads and the woman behind the stall enthusiastically stood up and began laying out more of her designs. My eyes were glued to the side of his face, watching as he bent his head and pointed at the fiery red necklace with a little fox pendant. The lady began to wrap it in thin paper and tape the end closed, grabbing for the money before he even had a chance to count it. He pocketed the charm, tucking it safely away and resumed his walking.