Unboxing my Head ✔

I-I just..

[Verse 1]
I guess this is a bitter end I didn't see coming
And I'm havin' a little bit of trouble accepting, too
I don't know what to say to you
There's nothing I can do to reset your point of view
We both said this was just physical
Well, one of us lied, can't set feelings aside, truth be told, yeah
You asked to see me once again at half past ten
I got nervous, so I got faded, made things complicated

[Pre-Chorus]
I'm sorry for the stupid shit I said
You ordered fun, I served you threads
It's probably good you left 'cause I finally admit

[Chorus 1]
I like you, I like you, I like you
Sorry, I never meant to
But who we kidding, it wasn't like I had a say
One look at you and I won't have it any other way
I want you, I want you, I want you
I want you to want me too
I know that I signed up for this casually
But I fell for your tricks, now I'm the casualty

[Hook 1]
Can we just reset, restart and then replay
Take me back to when all
You wanted was to love on me every day, yeah
I like you, I like you, I like you
Words I won't ever hear from you
Wishin' I could turn back the hands of time
To when I feel your hands on me and your lips on mine

[Verse 2]
I know that that was too much the last time you saw me
And I don't blame you for getting over everything so easy
But I just can't seem to figure you out you goddamn mystery
Good God, how you kiss me
Didn't think it'd be distress galore
Thought I just wanted you there
With your hands in my hair
But I craved more
And you just wanted rock 'n roll, no heart and soul
And I knew that from the beginning
So why don't I feel like I'm winning?

[Pre-Chorus 2]
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm the joke
The punchline that got too old
It's killing me to see you gone 'cause I never told you

[Chorus 1]
I like you, I like you, I like you
Sorry, I never meant to
But who we kidding, it wasn't like I had a say
One look at you and I won't have it any other way
I want you, I want you, I want you
I want you to want me too
I know that I signed up for this casually
But I fell for your tricks, now I'm the casualty

[Hook 1]
Can we just reset, restart and then replay
Take me back to when all
You wanted was to love on me every day, yeah
I like you, I like you, I like you
Words I won't ever hear from you
Wishin' I could turn back the hands of time
To when I feel your hands on me and your lips on mine

[Verse 3]
Something 'bout you makes me difficult
But that makes us even 'cause you top of the charts
Egotistical, it's so typical
For me to fall for your kind
But, oh God, I wish you were mine

[Chorus 2]
I like you, I like you, I like you
Sorry, I never meant to
But who're we kidding, it wasn't like I had a say
One look at you and I won't have it any other way
I want you, I want you, I want you
I want you to want me too
Would it be a stretch if I asked you to try again?
I'll be patient, I swear I'll even count to ten
One, two, three, four, five
Fuck it

[Hook 2]
Can we just reset, restart and then replay (replay)
Take me back to when all
You wanted was to love on me every day, yeah
I like you, I like you, I like you
Words I won't ever hear from you (won't ever hear from you)
Wishin' I could turn back the hands of time
To when "I like you" was only just a secret
Crime

[Outro]
Yeah, uh

Ibu saya pernah bilang bahwa beliau adalah orang yang terlalu percaya dengan mudah sehingga memilih Ayah saya ketimbang yang sudah berpacaran dengannya lama, hingga pernikahan ternyata berjalan tidak baik.

I guess I know where's this personality came from.

Friends with benefit? Nggak. I'm not kind of that but, so so.

Sometimes I fall too easy.

And hard.

And keeping it, remember it like a damn.

But its always to the person that doesn't even want me. Always. It looks good at the start, but in the end, its always the same.

They choose someone else over me.

Puji Tuhan akan ingatan yang bagus, bermanfaat untuk akademik, sialnya berdampak pada hal lain. I keep rewind and rewind.

Well, of course I should look into myself and see whats wrong, whats the problem. Yes, I find myself that I'm a boring person. Tidak romantis, tidak inisiatif, dan selalu telat, terlalu mudah dibaca, mudah didekati, lain sebagainya, itu yang saya lihat.

But its so hard to change.

Though this relationship changed me a lot, in these past two years. Tidak sempurna, but I learn a lot. Benar-benar, banyak. Dan detail. Sampai merubah cara saya pegang garpu dan sendok saat makan, cara berjalan, cara duduk, cara berpakaian. Serius. Se perfeksionis itulah dia.

Bucin? Iya, begitu biasa disebut.

But honestly, this is my longest relationship and I can't get away from it easily. Living together, for more than a year, keterbiasaan.

Sulit banget, bahkan ketika ratusan kali putus, I still back to her. Even today.

Yes, again, over and over, again.

Entah saya gak tau apa itu harga diri.

I just.. can't.

Dan yang paling parah, yah, begitulah saya beberapa kali kait dengan benang lain. Don't blame me! She did it first! Dan, lebih banyak dari saya. I know it well.

Iya, saya bahkan gak tau ini hubungan macam apa. Berantakan. Gak cuma itu.

I wish I weren't myself.
I can't be what they want me to be.
On everything.
They; family or even friends.
I wish I could be someone else.
"Orang lain aja bisa, kenapa kamu enggak?" they always said.

Mungkin, saya bukan orang.

I'm a pig.

Slim pig.