Milkshake Boy | pjm

forty-eight

My body freezes when Jungkook asks me if I'm okay, something I didn't want to happen. The last thing I wanted was for someone to ask me if I was okay, for I didn't want to bawl my eyes out and tell them everything on my mind. At least, not the worst thing to happen, it was someone I trusted who asked me.

I turn to Jungkook slowly, my eyes watering profusely, tears still running down my skin, dripping onto my clothing. My watery blue eyes meet with his brown ones and, immediately, I begin to sob harder, my bottom lip quivering.

"Taishi," he says calmly, his voice a concerned whisper. His arms open wide and he looks at me with gentle eyes. "Come here."

Without hesitation, I throw myself into his arms and bury my face in his muscular chest. Jungkook is quick to wrap his arms around me, his chin resting itself atop my head, his hands rubbing soothing lines up and down my back, assuring me that I'm not alone.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks calmly.

I can feel his chin moving against my head as he talks, his presence comforting to me. I nod my head, silently agreeing to talk to him about if I'm okay or not. All I really need is someone to talk to, and I'm thankful that Jungkook is here.

"I feel like such a fuck up," I say, my voice being muffled by Jungkook's chest.

Jungkook stops moving his hands up and down my back and moves his hands to my shoulders. Pulling me away from his body slowly, Jungkook looks me dead in the eyes, his thumbs gently wiping the tears away from my cheeks.

"You're not a fuck up," his voice is stern as he speaks, but there is a hint of something gentle beneath his tone. "There is nothing wrong with you."

"Jungkook," I say softly, pulling his hands away from my body. "I was kidnapped, doused in water when I didn't listen, and, if you hadn't made it to me fast enough, I would have been used as a sex slave until he either gave up on me or you found me."

"What Chul did to you was between him and whatever fucked up things were happening in his mind," he responds reassuringly. "It wasn't your fault, none of it was."

I shake my head. "My own stepfather abused me and he nearly raped me. He thought about it, he told you that he thought about it."

"Taishi, listen to me, it's not your fault that these horrible people thought these things about you," Jungkook says, his eyes gazing deeply into mine. He looks away abruptly, averting his gaze from mine, his whole head dropping. "It's not your fault you're attractive."

My heart begins to race, and there is no reason I can think of as to why it's doing so. Sure, Jungkook is attractive. Sure, he's kind. Sure, he literally saved my life and has been there to help me when I needed it. But, I'm in love with Jimin, I could never love anyone more or nearly as much as I love Jimin.

"You think I'm attractive?" I ask, my eyebrows raising slightly.

Jungkook clears his throat. "I do, I don't think anyone doesn't," he says kindly, trying his hardest not to sound like he's hitting on me. "Everything about you is attractive."

"Everything?"

"I mean, yeah," he pauses, his head raising to look at my expression, his eyebrows raising as he looks at my nearly blank expression. "You have a beautiful face, amazing body, and your personality shines brighter than anyone else I know. I'm sorry to say it, Taishi, but you're perfect."

I find myself smiling widely, my smile stretching farther across my face than I ever thought possible. I try to speak, but I can't, I just throw my hands over my face to hide my large smile and my hot pink cheeks.

"I take it you're not mad?" Jungkook asks, his voice uneasy.

"No, I'm not mad!" I laugh, hitting his arm playfully. "You're really sweet Jungkook. You could have tried to steal me from Jimin but, instead, you politely told me your feelings without making a scene in front of him. I appreciate that."

Jungkook smiles slightly. "I would never get in between you and Jimin," he says in a genuine tone. "You guys are adorable together. I haven't seen him this happy in-" 

He cuts himself off, his words ending abruptly before he pulls his hand to his mouth and begins awkwardly chewing on his thumbnail.

"In what?" I ask, pushing him to finish speaking his thoughts. "Jungkook you can't start talking about something and then pretend it didn't happen."

"Jimin has a past," Jungkook mumbles, his eyes looking up at me in a strange manner. "I can't tell you why. It's not my job to tell you."

We sit in silence for a moment, our bodies slouching in an uncomfortable way that neither of us can explain. Suddenly, something pops into my mind. The day I met Jungkook, he mentioned that Jimin had a criminal record, and he asked Jimin if he had told me about it. Of course, Jimin didn't tell me about his criminal record, but I now really want to know.

"Is that why he has a criminal record?" I ask abruptly, my body not moving, my eyes focused on the crack between the couch cushions.

Jungkook's head shoots in my direction and his hand moves away from his mouth. "You remember me mentioning that?"

I nod.

"Shit," he hisses. "I'm sorry you had to hear it from me."

"No, Jungkook," I reassure him. "It's better that I knew that there was one rather than knowing nothing about it. I can ask him what he did, you don't have to tell me anything."

Jungkook yawns before shifting his body so he's in a more comfortable position. "You can ask him in the morning, let's just go to sleep."

"Don't think so fast that I'm gonna make you sleep on the couch," I say as I stand up and pull him up from the soft surface. "Just keep your pants on and we should be fine."

I grab a tank top from my pyjama shelf in the closet along with a pair of short silk pyjama shorts. This is, for sure, a clothing option light enough so I don't sweat in my sleep and so I don't have to take my clothes off with Jungkook in my bed.

As I leave the room, Jungkook is sitting on my bed awkwardly, his shirt folded nicely and placed on the table beside the bed. The duvet is pulled up to his collarbones, so I can't see his clothless chest, but he is still extremely awkward about it.

"Stop being so awkward," I laugh as I climb into bed, pulling the duvet up to cover the lower half of my body. "You won't sleep at all if you're being awkward the whole time."