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You Gotta Die Sometime

Whizzer could feel it looming over him, his impending death. He could feel it in the way his body got weaker. He could feel it in the way each breath hurt him more than the last. He felt it in the way Marvin looked at him, in the way Marvin touched him, as if he were glass, and the slightest movement would cause him to shatter.

Since there was nothing more the doctors could do for him, Whizzer requested to spend his final days at home. He didn't want to spend any more time in the sterile environment, being poked and prodded. Mostly, he didn't want to die in the hospital, he wanted to be with the ones he loves for as long as he had left. Anyway they allowed him, so here he is now. Laying awake, wrapped in Marvin's arms. The latter is asleep, so Whizzer was alone with his thoughts.

He'd done this countless times. Listened while Marvin snored softly next to him, unable to escape into the world of dreams. But something felt different about this time. Something felt...off. The pain in his chest was more prominent than it had ever been, as if with each breath he was being stabbed repeatedly. His thoughts had become foggy, as if a heavy mist was blanketing the surface of his brain. Something told Whizzer that this was it, this was the end. He knew that if he were to fall asleep, he'd never wake up. As much as he thought he'd made peace with dying, he wasn't ready.

Whizzer turned in Marvin's arms. Needles of pain shot through his body. That small movement left him even more tired and weak. He knew he couldn't let go without saying goodbye while he had the chance. Most people don't get this opportunity, and he wasn't going to waste it by letting Marvin sleep.

Whizzer shook Marvin softly. It took a couple of tries, but he was finally able to get Marvin to wake up. Marvin yawned and groggily rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. He looked up to find tears streaming down his lovers face. Immediately he grew panicked and concerned. "What's going on? Whizzer are you in a lot of pain? What can I do?" he asked worriedly.

Whizzer could do nothing but nod and cling onto Marvin tighter as he waited for his tears to subside. He needed to tell Marvin, but the thought of devastating Marvin made him more sad than actually dying. He didn't care what death meant for him, he didn't want to cause pain for his lover. Whizzer already gave him AIDS, and now he's going to give him a lot of grief.

Marvin clutched Whizzer to his chest and kissed his forehead. Finally Whizzer gained composure enough to tell him what's going on. "I...I think this is it." He said sadly. Marvin knew exactly what he meant.

"How can you tell?" Marvin asked. Tears were beginning to gather in his eyes as well. He couldn't lose Whizzer. Not now.  Marvin thought he deserved to be the one to die, though he knew Whizzer would disagree. But Whizzer had always been kind to everyone, and Marvin...well Marvin was an asshole.

Whizzer looked at Marvin. Moving became even harder, his eyes struggled to stay open. He was losing the battle, and he was losing fast. "I can just...I...I can just." Whizzer stopped, unable to go on. Tears continued to stream down his face.

There was one more thing he needed to say to Marvin. It was a lot, and he wasn't sure if he could do it, but it was important. 'If there's a God above, please grant me this one last thing' he thought to himself. He lay there, gathering as much strength as he could. Whizzer cupped Marvin's face in freezing hand, and kissed him as passionately as he could. "I...love...you Marv. I want...I want you...to find happiness when I'm...gone."

Marvin nodded, and finally allowed the tears to fall. Finding happiness would be near impossible, especially since sooner or later he'd meet the same fate as his lover. But he'd try his hardest, for Whizzer.

Marvin realized that Whizzer had gone completely still against him. He started to panic, thinking that it had finally happened, that he was actually gone. He checked Whizzer's pulse and found that it was still going, albeit slowly. He noticed that Whizzer chest was still rising and falling, barely. Marvin breathed a sigh of relief.

He's only sleeping, for now. Sure, Whizzer thinks that this is the end, but surely he's only feeling a little worse than usual. That's all, there's no way he's on the verge of death. Marvin kept telling himself useless lies, to make himself feel better. And he almost started to believe them. With those thoughts in mind, Marvin hugged Whizzer, and drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

When Marvin woke up in the morning, he felt like something was amiss. He went to curl up next to Whizzer, but he realized that the man in his arms had grown stiff and cold. Whizzer had passed in the middle of the night, just as he had feared.

Marvin kissed his lover's forehead, the last time he's ever be able to do that. Then he sobbed. All those useless lies he fed himself during the night, only caused the sadness he felt to grow tenfold. He sobbed for his lover, who's life had ended far too soon. So many memories that they'll never be able to make. So many things they will never be able to do together. They would never be able to grow old together like they had hoped. Though they knew that as soon as Whizzer got sick.

Marvin got up and called police, soon they'd be here for the body. Marvin covered Whizzer with a sheet, and then walked out to the living room, he couldn't bear to be in the bedroom. In the place where Whizzer died. He sat down on the couch, where Whizzer's favorite throw pillow lay. He picked it up and started to cry harder, it still smelled like him.

Soon he would have to make funeral preparations. He would have to let everyone else know what had happened. But for now, he just wanted to grieve. He definitely didn't want to be around anyone. Their words of comfort would not be able to help him. They would only cause him to be annoyed. The one person he did want to be around was now gone. At this moment, Marvin felt as if happiness was just a distant memory.

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1100 words

So I felt like trying my hand at angst and sadness. If you cried, or felt like crying, or at least felt sad, well than I've done my job. Remember, if you have requests, send them in.

Thanks for reading.

~Queer_And_Heere