Coward | kth

39

39 | Punish me

I am loosing my mind.

Taehyung sits beside me on his grey couch, a wine glass throning in his left hand on which he occasionally nips. I rest cross-legged beside him, dreamily wrapping a strand of chestnut hair around my index finger.

To be honest, I have no chill. Taehyung's plump lips are moving, which indicates that he is talking. Considering his gesticulating hands, I am almost sure he is. But I hear nothing. My mechanisms have completely shut down, except for my eyes and the ability to drool.

It's rude. I know. But I can't help it; Every time I scold myself to concentrate, I just trail off after five seconds again... His chocolate eyes sparkle with such a passion, such an unique beauty that I lock my own pair onto them. At least for a while. Because then my gaze drops onto his pair of heart-shaped lips, which have a slight natural pout to them while he talks about things he admires. Those lips. I know exactly how they feel on my own, how could I ever forget that? They are my drug and I am their addict.

Too bad I am on its withdrawal. Even worse that I put myself on it.

I've never regretted anything more.

When Taehyung and I chatted at my sister's house the other day, it seemed like the right thing to do. Keep our distance, move slowly. It sounds mature, right?

Well, I don't give a single fuck about matureness or moving slow anymore. I want Taehyung, no, I crave him.

Every single cell in my body grunts after his delicate touch, my skin prickles in arousal because it can feel his presence. My chest lifts and lowers at irregular intervals, my upper eyelids flutter until they almost cover my view. Summarized: I am a complete mess right now.

Today, in Giovanni's kitchen, something shifted between him and I. When exactly or why exactly it was triggered, I don't know. All I am sure of is that my attraction to him has been magnified somehow.

It even pains me. I hadn't considered a possible shift when I requested to move slowly and now I am receiving the backlash for it. Dumb, dumber, Sohee.

It makes me go crazy that I have no idea how Taehyung is feeling with the whole situation either. From his physical appearance, I receive no hint that his hormones are making him struggle. To me, he appears normal; There is no sweat drenching from his skin, no nervous playing with the rings on his fingers, no conspicuously often happening blinking.

Either he is doing a very good job at keeping himself together or he is just not as horny as I am.

Nobody can judge me, though. With a god sitting beside them, nobody is able to concentrate, let alone control their mind.

"I want you."

About that...

Taehyung chokes on his wine, "What?"

I sigh. There is no turning back now, I have exposed myself. Why not go up in flames completely, why not risk everything?

The coward crumbles...

"I. want. you."

Taehyung places his glass on the coffee table, furrowing his brows, "Didn't we have a talk about moving slowly?"

I moan, grimacing, "Forget that. We only made the deal because we're scared of what happens once we follow what we desire."

"If so," Taehyung's brows jump up once, "What is it, that we desire?"

With new gained confidence (source unknown), I verge my lips on his ear, smirking.

"Each other."