Every Broken Part (Series)

Chapter One.

Every Broken Part.

Prologue.

D E V I N

    Shock.

    One word, one syllable, five letters.

    Shock was the only word to describe my reaction. It was the only emotion that appeared on my face when I found her corpse. It is an impossible task to prepare yourself for loss. Grief is the most unexplainable feeling. It's inevitable. Grief is one thing in this world you will never be able to escape from. It's the monster hiding underneath your bed, waiting for the day to pull you into its darkness. Once you're in it, you're drowning. It fills your entire body, cutting off your air supply. Your lungs burn as it slowly kills you from the inside out.

    There is no out.

    The only way out, is through.

     You don't know how much one moment will change your life until you're living in it. It was like any other day, the day my monster underneath my bed captured me. Every day starts off mimicking the ones before. The one thing that's never certain is where you'll be at the end of it.

    I woke up, then went to school. I greeted everyone with a bright smile and a friendly hello. Little did I know what I had waiting for me when I got home. I remember every detail of that morning. I still play it again and again in head on a continuous loop. It was the last day of normalcy I had. I laugh, remembering how naive I was that entire day. If I could go back, I would live in that moment forever. The moment before I walked through the door, before my entire world changed. The first thing I saw when I opened the door to my childhood home was her eyes.

     Those lifeless eyes.

     The haunting look in them was enough for bile to violently rise up my throat. The body in front of me, void of any life, looked as if it were no longer hers. Except for her eyes. It is said that when you die your entire life flashes before your eyes.

    Did hers?

    Did she think of me, in her final moments?

     Looking into her orbs, it was like every memory we had was raking at my brain. It was like a sea of memories was crashing into me, invading my thoughts. Every memory began to feel like an anchor, pulling me deeper and deeper into the dark beyond.

    Her eyes were the same eyes that I would look into every day for guidance. They were the eyes that tucked me into bed every night when I was too scared to close my own. The ones that I would cry to until I couldn't cry anymore. The eyes that served as two parents, filling the void that my father had left.

    He left.

    "He left." I cried to into my Mommy's chest on this dreadful day. I was one of the only kids in school who didn't have a father to celebrate for. I don't even have an image in my head of his face. I never will. Father's Day was the most dreaded day of the year for me. Every one of my peers' faces danced with excitement as they decorated their mugs to bring home to their Dad's. I can imagine the look of love and pride on their Father's faces as they handed him the artful creation.

    "Devinthia," My Mother looked down into my tear-filled eyes as she quickly wiped them away. "Do you know how much I love you?"

    I wiped my eyes as I looked up into hers. Her gray orbs held overwhelming amounts of love in them as they stared back at me. "How much?"

    "I love you to the moon..."

    "...And back!" I finished for her. She pulled me back into her arms as I nestled my head against her chest. There was no better place I could be than in my Mother's arms. It felt like some magical shield that protected me from everything bad in the world.

    "I know that this day is hard for you, Devinthia. But you're the strongest, bravest, smartest little girl in the entire world. You can get past anything."

     She gently kissed my forehead as she stroked my hair. A giant smile appeared on my face as I dug into my book-bag. I pulled out the mug we made in class, thrashing it excitedly into my Mother's arms. Tears filled her eyes as she stared down at it. I had crossed out the "Father's" in Father's Day and replaced it with "Mommy's". Her face held so much pride in it as she pulled me into her arms once more. I wasn't sad anymore about not having a Father like everyone else.

     I had my Mommy.

    "Happy Mommy's Day!"

    "Mommy." I cried out, uttering a word I grew out of years ago. As I stood there staring at her corpse, I felt like I was that ten-year-old little girl once again. I wanted to fall into her arms. I wanted her to kiss me goodnight, protecting me from everything bad in the world.

    But, she wouldn't.

    She never would again.

     I don't know how much time passed, I just looked at her. I wanted to memorize every little detail of her face. I dropped to my knees as realization began to set in my bones. She would only live on in my memories from this point on. Piercing screams filled the air. It took me several minutes to realize the screams belonged to me. They sounded inhumane. They were foreign in my ears. I ran up to her body, shaking it in my arms. I knew she was dead. I knew she was dead the second I opened the door. There is a difference between knowing something and accepting it.

     She is dead.

    Would I ever be able to accept that?

    My mind didn't want to process it as I shouted at her, almost expecting her to answer back. My voice was hoarse. My vision was blurred. My eyes landed on the gun clutched in her hands. I had never even seen that gun before in my life. I suddenly remembered the last words she said to me, with a warm smile on her lips.

    "I love you, try and text me today?"

    I didn't even say it back to her.

    I only nodded, with things that I thought were more important on my mind. Hours ago, she was alive and breathing. Yet here she was, a dead body that would never return to life. I let out another yell as I held her body in my arms. Blood trailed onto my fingers, as I stared at them. My hands were a trembling mess in front of my eyes. Her corpse was stiff, any trace of my mother's lively spirit now gone. My knees dropped completely to the floor, ignoring the pain that shot up my legs. Sobbing erupted through my body as regret filled me. I heard sirens echo outside, but my body couldn't move. It was like I was stuck in this moment. I was frozen in time. Unfamiliar arms wrapped around me and brought me up from the ground. Everything around me was a blur. People I didn't recognize in uniforms surrounded my house, inspecting it. The arms around me pulled my body away from the scene.

    "No! I can't leave her! Mom!"

I screamed until my voice cracked. I can't leave her. I can't leave her. Those were my only thoughts as the arms took me away from her. I went into a frenzy as my vision blurred with tears. I had no control over my actions. It was almost as if I was watching this whole scene take place, and there was nothing I could do about it. I fought off the arms until I was out of the room. I was out of my house. There was a man in front of me, asking questions. I didn't answer as another sob raked through my body. This was the last thing I remember from that day. It was the one defining moment that changed my life, sending it on a completely different path. I always thought it was the worst thing I would ever have to experience. It was, until I met him.