Every Broken Part (Series)

Chapter Two.

G R A I Z E N

I will always remember that day.

It's become a part of me. It's like a weight that I have to carry on my back all the time. Even if I ignore it, the weight is still there. It will always still hold me down and be a constant reminder to me that I am utterly and completely broken.

Shitty, right?

No matter how many drinks I put into my body, no matter how many times I close my eyes, that night will always keep me prisoner. The image of my parents' dead bodies with my twin brother standing over them will be imprinted in my head until the day I leave this earth. My brother didn't even know what he was doing. He hadn't realized he had murdered his own parents. The parents that clothed him and fed him. The parents that were everything parents were supposed to be to us. He killed them, and he had no idea.

I could've stopped it.

I shouldn't have left my brother alone, not after what he went through that day. I should've known he needed help. This wasn't supposed to happen. I remember waking up to his screams. I play the night out in my head to the point of insanity. If I had woken up a moment sooner, I could've avoided the tragedy. I could've ended my suffering before it even started. But I didn't.

I was too late.

I remember the blood. I'd never seen that much blood in my life. His hands were covered in it, along with the floor to his room. He was shaking as he looked down at their bodies. I shook my head, as tears filled my eyes. I could barely even recognize them as I fell to my knees. I held my face in my hands as pain ran through me. My fists smashed against the hardwood as I felt it splinter underneath my hands. Pain seared up my arms as the wood cut into me, but I ignored it. I let the pain fuel me. The only thing I could feel was blind rage as I stared at my brother.

"What did you do? What did you do?"

I charged at my brother, grabbing him by the throat. He didn't even flinch as I held his neck against the cold wall. Tears were pouring from my face as I looked into his lifeless eyes. I grabbed a knife beside me, placing it against his chest. I was trembling as I stared down at the object.

I was ready to kill him.

I wanted to kill him.

I was so mad I was seeing red. He wasn't even fighting me as his eyes were glued to our dead parents. I realized he was in pain. I realized he had no control over what he did, he lost her. He watched the love of his life die in front of his eyes, and it ripped him in two. He was irreparable, he was broken. I screamed out as I dropped the knife, letting it fall to my hands. My brother fell to his knees, violently sobbing.

"K-Kill me, brother. Please. I don't want to live. I don't want to live. Kill me."

I kicked him, sending him flying into the wall behind me. He let out a cough, looking as pitiful as he felt. I grabbed him by the collar, as I stared into his dark blue eyes. He was begging me, pleading with me to end his suffering. I let out a strangled laugh.

"You're going to live with what you did for the rest of your pathetic life." I spat out as I pulled him even higher from the ground. His eyes were avoiding mine as he cried beneath me. I knew he didn't mean to. I knew in my heart this wasn't his fault. I couldn't bear to look at him. I had not only lost my parents, I'd lost my brother too.

"I'm not your brother anymore. Leave. You are no longer wanted."

I dropped his collar as I said this, letting him fall to the ground. He sobbed, as I walked away from him without looking back. Something changed in me that day. It was the day my entire life changed its path. This day sent me on a completely different track, heading in the opposite direction. I no longer let anyone in. I didn't smile like I used to. I lost all my feelings. I thought I would be like this forever, without feeling. I thought I was incapable of ever loving another human being. I was, until I met her.