Every Broken Part (Series)

Chapter Forty-Seven.

          D E V I N 

 Hit.

I pictured Locke's face as the punching bag.

Hit.

My fist violently slammed into the bag, as a satisfying thud echoed through the small room. I imagined his face cracking against my skin, a look of utter fear in his eyes. I wanted to replay that moment in my head forever. The moment of pure power going through me. The moment I didn't need any saving.

Hit.

I smirked as I saw his neck snapping in front of me, his lifeless body falling to the ground. I screamed as I imagined all the times he snuck into my room while I was sleeping, a syringe in hand. Did he do anything to keep me asleep? Why didn't I ever wake up or notice what he was doing? Utter betrayal swept through me as I slumped to the floor. I stared into space. I was beyond the point of crying at this point. I only wanted revenge. I wanted him dead. For good.

"Dev,"

I jumped, relaxing as my eyes found Jax in front of me. He sighed, sitting next to me. I didn't attempt to acknowledge his presence as we shared a silence between us. Part of me wanted to cry into his chest, and thank him for everything he has ever done for me. The other part wanted to hit him until I couldn't move my arms anymore.

"Rayner told me everything."

I simply nodded. My entire body felt numb as my thoughts went wild in my head. My mind was too fast for me right now, images and memories running rampant through me.

"How did you get past it?" I finally faced him.

"Get past what part, exactly?" Jax asked.

"Losing her. You were there for me, for losing my Mother. You never even told me about Freya that whole time. How did you do it?"

Jax's eyes widened as he took a deep breath. I was finally able to address him about this, after all this time. Our entire year together, Jax hid all of this from me. He hid an entire world from me. He his all of his demons and helped me escape mine.

"I didn't get past it, Devin." Jax honestly said. "I lost a part of me. You don't get over losing your heart, you learn to live with it. I'm still hurting, and I miss her so much it overwhelms me."

I held onto his hand, as I leaned my head onto his shoulder. I could feel tense for an unknown reason. I flinched away from him, his touch feeling different than usual. Jax didn't notice this as he only stared at the space in front of us.

"I'm so sorry, Jax. I wish you would've told me this."

Jax choked out a sob as he leaned into me. I held onto him, supporting his head as he cried into my shoulder. I closed my eyes. I needed this just as much as he did. After everything that happened, I'm beyond thankful that I got my best friend back.

"I love her, so much. We were going to start a family. That's all I ever wanted. I had everything, and now all I'm left with is the memory of her."

I didn't say anything as I let him cry into me. There isn't much you can say. I held onto him as tight as I could, for what felt like hours. We didn't move, we just held onto each other. Exhaustion began to slowly creep in as I realized how long my body had been awake for. I let go of Jax, his eyes red as they met mine.

"We both could use some sleep."

He let out a strangled laugh. "Yeah, wedefinitely could."