his boy // newtmas & dylmas oneshots

leaving tonight ~ newtmas

Thomas stared hard at himself in the bathroom mirror. He didn't look like himself anymore. Where his brown eyes were once bright and had crinkles from smiling, they now had dark shadows and bags under them. His hair was always messy now that he didn't have the energy to fix it, and his porcelain skin was whiter than usual and made him look as though he was made of glass, fragile and easy to break. You couldn't break Thomas, though.

He was already broken, had been broken.

Thomas and Newt had met at a bar when they were both younger, in their early twenties. Thomas was immediately enraptured with the blond; his eyes were dark and clouded with an unknown emotion Thomas so desperately wanted to understand, his hair was long and pulled back, and he was tall and lean. Newt's whole posture screamed confidence but gave you nothing else, like he was asking you a question that only he had the answer to. Thomas was instantly sucked into a whirlpool of emotions, one that he never made it out of.

That first night that they'd met, they danced until dawn and almost went all the way, but Newt said he'd want to get to know Thomas first. So they got to know each other, going on one date, then another, and another. He had Thomas fooled from the start, and he started to even love him. He could see them together for a long time, maybe even the rest of their lives, and it was a pretty picture. Too bad the picture frame had to break. 

Thomas scoffed at himself, glaring at his reflection. He thought it would be easy when it first started. If it got worse, if he really had to, he'd run. It was hard to run when your legs were broken though.

He shook his head and spit in the sink, his mouth tasting like the beer he'd just had. It was haunting him, making each day harder to breathe. He'd have to leave before Newt came home, or it'd be black eyes and forgive and forget in the morning. Yes, he'd have to be gone by the morning.

Thoughts ripped through his being while he packed a bag. You always knew, Thomas. You knew he wasn't good, and if you didn't see it yourself, people were there to tell you. You should've listened, stupid boy. Do you think you can go to Teresa's? She'll say 'I told you so' because she was right, and you didn't listen. He squeezed his eyes shut, hoping the voices in his own mind would shut up.

He thought he loved Newt, but what they had wasn't anything close. Nevermind love, it wasn't even lovely.

He went to the bathroom to pack some toiletries, every step making it harder to breathe. He knew Newt would haunt him after he left; someone who touched you and made it hurt and feel good at the same time just wouldn't go away. Leaving tonight wouldn't change anything. The damage was already done, even if he won't be seeing him after this.

He grabbed his wallet, and then his keys out of habit. Leaving nothing important and yet everything, Thomas left the last three years of his life behind. Every bruise. Every cut. Every promise after. It was all nothing. It didn't matter now, and he didn't turn around. After all, he'd be gone when Newt came home in the morning.

~ ~ ~ ~ 

AN: hiya lovelies! finally, some content, eh? I'm sososo sorry, life got in the way and exams held back my creativity for a while.

so if you couldn't tell, this oneshot is based on the song 'leaving tonight' by The Neighborhood, and it is about abuse. Newt abuses Thomas, and that is why he is leaving. When i write, i tend to state things black and white, like they are. I wanted to practice writing between the lines a bit, and i'd appreciate feedback on if it worked or not!

If you are in a toxic or abusive relationship, please please please do not hesitate to get help! talk to someone near you, like family or friends. my dms are always open, too, on my account, or on the other social medias i have in my profile!

national domestic abuse help: https://www.thehotline.org/