his boy // newtmas & dylmas oneshots

it's okay ~ newtmas

Warning: depression

Newt sighed and closed the lid of laptop, not wanting to hear Netflix's Riverdale drama anymore. Something felt off~ he knew it was his depression kicking in, but it didn't feel like that. He just felt wrong, like everything was off kilter.

He ignored his phone buzzing on his desk, not bothering to check it, and walked out to the kitchen. He wasn't sure what he wanted to eat, and he and Minho didn't have that many groceries left anyway. He grabbed an apple and a knife and cutting board.

He sliced into the apple, moving slowly and strangely, almost like time didn't exist. A noise sounded from outside the house and he started, looking out the window and not even feeling the sharp pain in his hand until he looked down and saw the blood.

He stumbled over and sat down at the table, clutching the gash, and that's when he began to cry. He sat and cried, his hand leaking red all over the place. He didn't even register anyone come in until there were arms around him.

"Angel, shh. Oh baby, what did you do?"

Newt just shook his head and dug himself deeper into Thomas' arms. His boyfriend had experience with Newt and his depression, so he knew what to do. He lifted him out of the chair and into the bathroom, speaking to him ever so softly.

"It's okay Newt, I've got you, love. It's all okay, you're okay, you're safe." He set him on the counter and grabbed a washcloth, rinsing it under the water and dabbing it over Newt's cut.

He cleaned the cut and wiped his tears and mopped up the blood in the kitchen, all the while making sure Newt was in a place where he couldn't hurt himself and felt safe.

He finished cleaning and came to stand between his boyfriend's legs, Newt sitting on the counter. "Baby, are we okay now?"

Newt sighed, trying to target what he was feeling. And he did feel okay, that overwhelming loneliness had faded and he didn't want to cry anymore. So, he nodded his head.

Thomas smiled and placed his hands on Newt's thighs, kissing his forehead. "Care to tell me what happened?"

Newt shrugged, "i don't know, I just felt... wrong and out of place. And I was hungry, and that's how I cut myself. Cutting an apple."

"Look, darling, you'll never be wrong or out of place. I love you, okay? You belong here, and nothing's gonna change that."

Newt smiled, his cheeks turning pink. His Tommy always knew how to fix things, make him feel better. He set his hands on Thomas' cheeks and pulled him in for a gentle kiss, trying to pour his emotions into it and make him understand how thankful he was for the younger boy.

"Are you still hungry? We could make something for... ah, late supper?" Thomas rubbed circles on Newt's thighs, raising his eyebrows. 

"You can check the fridge, but i don't think we have a ton of groceries right now," Newt sighed, speaking softly, his throat still feeling raw.

"Then we shall go out for this late supper!" Thomas said it like it was the world's most important declaration and lifted Newt off the counter. Newt giggled, gripping Thomas' shoulders as he carried him out of the bathroom and into the car.

"Where are you taking me?" Newt asked when Thomas had been driving for a while and he still didn't know where they were going. 

"The absolute best place for a pick-me-up. It may clog your arteries, but it tastes good, so... the pros outweigh the cons." He sounded so very serious as he pulled into the McDonald's drive-through, up to the speaker. Newt couldn't help but laugh at the way he acted like it was the Ultimate Spy Mission.

"Welcome to McDonald's, how can i help ya?" a cheery voice crackled out of the speaker. 

"Hi, can i get two large milkshakes, one vanilla and one chocolate, and two large fries, please and thank you." Thomas winked at Newt, and the blond's heart warmed that he remembered his favourite flavour. He finished the order, and they waited to get to the window. 

"You don't have to do this, y'know." Newt frowned, feeling his chest get a bit heavier, and then immediately thinking god, why are you so unappreciative? 

Thomas sensed the change in Newt and took his hand. "I would be a pretty shit boyfriend if I didn't. You deserve all the things in the world, babe."

Newt's heart nearly exploded, and he didn't even have a reply but to smile. 

~ ~ ~ ~

AN: this is pretty shit so my apologies,,,, ahahahahahahahahahha

kill me now

also apologies if i wrote depression very wrong, i have no experience with mental illness but my friend explained that this is how she feels when hers sort of flares and i just rolled with it