Thoughts of a Doubting Christian ✓

Why I Don't Want Children

When I say that I don't want children, it is inevitably followed by people telling me that, "oh, one day you'll change your mind," or "I was convinced that I didn't want kids, but now I have three lovely children and I wouldn't trade them for the world," or "you just haven't had the biological itch yet, it'll come," or "you're too young to decide that, I didn't want kids at your age, either," etc. etc. etc. To everyone who's ever said or thought that, here is my response:

1. I've worked with kids before, so I can say that I don't want children and know what I'm talking about.

In high school, I babysat everyone from infants to toddlers to elementary school kids, and I can tell you right now that I don't want to deal with that 24/7. Children are a full-time job that you never get vacation or sick-leave from. They're loud, they cry, they're messy, and they get into absolutely everything, especially where they're not supposed to. They constantly want your attention, and it's a bad idea to withdraw your attention from them anyway, because the second you do, they're going to hurt themselves or do something they're not supposed to. It's awful. As for teenagers? I know what I was like as a teen. No way in hell I'm going to subject myself to that a second time around.

2. I'm "good with kids," but that doesn't mean that I enjoy working with them or that I'd be a good mother.

There's a difference between being good with kids for the few hours that you babysit them, and being a good mother who has the patience and skill-set to deal with children 24/7. I may be the former, but I don't enjoy it, and I'm definitely not the latter. Really, more people should work with kids before they have them. I think less people would have kids if they knew what taking care of them was really like, instead of the typical romanticized idea of "spouse + kids + job + house = happiness and total fulfillment."

3. I can barely take care of myself or my plants, much less a living, breathing child.

Yes, I'm a college student, but no, this isn't just a symptom of my age. I genuinely struggle to take care of myself for other reasons, the biggest one being my mental health.

I can desire to go to bed at a reasonable hour and be completely exhausted, but next thing I know, it's 3 am and I'm staring at my laptop thinking, "Shit, I still need to shower, so it's gonna be another hour before I'm ready for bed..." My throat can be parched, or my stomach can be roaring with hunger, but I guarantee you that I won't get up to alleviate my problems until I don't have any other choice. Even when I'm in extreme pain, it takes some coaxing from my friends and family before I actually take medication for it.

Basically, my depression is severe enough that I often don't have the energy or motivation to do everyday tasks, and that holds over into not watering my poor spider plants (sorry, Han, and Leia, thankfully you're still alive). It would be a horrible idea to have children when I can't even take care of my own body and affairs.

4. I'm a germaphobe, and babies and children are disgustingly slimy and germy.

I really hate germs, bodily fluids, or anything dirty. I'm uncomfortable when my phone or laptop keyboard feels greasy, I avoid touching public doorknobs or other related public things unless I have absolutely no choice, and I wash my hands many times a day. I don't like dealing with pet hair or litter boxes; I'm allergic to cats and dogs, dust, and mold and mildew; and I don't even like cooking because of the messy aspects of it, especially raw meat or eggs.

Obviously, none of this bodes well for me if I were to have kids. Babies and children are some of the most germy things in existence. They're constantly slimy and covered in bodily fluids. They sneeze everywhere, spit up and vomit on people, poop or pee their pants (I would probably die of anxiety trying to change a diaper), fall and bleed (I'm squeamish), cry incessantly...the list goes on. Forget it. There's no way in hell.