365 days of Darkness (pt. 2) // Z.M.

Day 292

May 10th, 2010

My Mom woke me up that morning, knocking on my door. I just wanted to stay asleep, forever. It was hurting a bit less when I was sleeping. 

I didn't even had time to sit that my Mom was walking straight to me. She threw the blankets at the other side of the room, then put her fist at her waist. That was a bad sign, I knew it. 

- You're going out today, Zayn. Go somewhere and find a job. 

She only said that, then she turned her heels and left my room. And she was off to her job. Great. I feel back on the pillows and blew. Shit, I didn't wanted to do that. Being told that I was once again not good enough was clearly not something I was enjoying.

I don't know how I found myself in downtown Bradford, a bunch of resumes in my hands. I didn't knew where the fuck I could go dropped them. I had ten of them and I turned in the first ten boutiques I found. I just wanted to end that shit.

The first nine took my CV and looked down to me from behind their glasses. Even though they didn't had glasses. Well, you get the point, yeah ? It was like looking at a bug that disturbs you but you're too lazy to kill it. Anyway, I should stop trying to put everything into images.

The nine of them just said they were going to call me if they needed someone, but I knew by the look and their eyes that they wouldn't. They would just put it into a trash as soon as I had left the shop.

The tenth was a bit different. I didn't paid attention before I entered, but once I was in... I couldn't helped but looked everywhre. It was drawing/painting shop, with everything I was dreaming of. Seriously, that shop is awesome. And the guy behind the counter wasn't looking fifty. He was twenty, maybe twenty-five. He smiled at me when I entered and I found myself smiling back, shyly.

- Hey mate, what can I do for you ? He asked me, walking up to meet me in the middle of the shop.

- I'm looking for a job, so... Yeah. That place's sick, I told him, looking everywhere.

Every inch of the walls were covered by painting, graffiti and all that kind of stuff. I couldn't helped but felt like home. I liked that place so much. 

- Yeah, of course ! Give me your resume and I'll give it a look. This place isn't much crowded, but it would be nice to have someone else.

I smiled and gave him my last sheet. He went back to his counter and I knew he would put it to the trash. I was proud, but at the same time... I was so afraid. Afraid of working, afraid of sticking at just one place. Even though this one is one of the nicest places I've seen in my life.

- I'll give you a call soon... Zayn ?

I nodded and he smiled once last time at me. Then I was back in the street and I was walking home. I felt... I don't know. But I felt weird and I didn't liked that at all. 

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Heyyy ! This entry is kind of shit, I'm sorry guys ! I just realized that there's like... 70 days left and that I have wayyy too much things to do !