365 days of Darkness (pt. 2) // Z.M.

Day 330

June 17th, 2010

I remember that day as the first real day of summer. It was the last day of class for Waliyha and almost everyone in Bradford. Not that I felt concerned, but there was teenager partying all over town right after four. Anyway. 

It was a hot day, I remember that. I had been out all day, just to avoid Doniya. Okay, I needed to go to work too, but still. Jamie asked me about my day off and I just brushed the question off. I didn't wanted to think about it. For lunch time, I went out. In fact, I spent my free hour by walking around town, trying to avoid going inside one of the shops that crossed my path. I kept on telling myself that I didn't deserved it. And, when I came back to the shop, I had an empty stomach but I wasn't feeling guilty for stealing someone's lunch. Anyway, I know, my mind has a weird way to process things. 

The rest of the day went slowly, I just wanted to go out. I wanted to be somewhere else, I wanted to get drunk and to lose it all. That was exactly what I did when my shift was over. I grabbed my bag and, without looking back, I ran in the streets, looking for some place to get wasted. I didn't cared about if I had to work the day after, I just wanted that. And I didn't wanted much lately, so I jumped on that need of mine. 

I ended up being totally wasted before six. And, before the sun was hiding under the horizon, I had found my way up to a huge party. Full of people I didn't knew. Well, in fact, I thought that I knew no one. It was that guy who spotted me in the streets and just told me he was doing an "end of classes" party and that I should came. So I did. 

I was dirty dancing - yeap, I won't hide that from you - with some girl I had just met when I saw a familiar face in the crowd. It took me a while to recognize Elizabeth. She was leaning on Derek, who hadn't saw me. The luck was on my side, for once. 

Anyway.

They were not so far away from me and they were totally drunk, the two of them. They were dancing at first, then they ended up licking each others face. I couldn't helped but laughed, thinking about how much it would have hurt a few months ago. I was gladly over that, by then. 

The girl I was dancing with thought that my laugh was because I had fun with her, which I don't know if I had. I was way too out to know. So she just grabbed my hand and leaded me upstairs. I had nothing against it. I knew it wouldn't have made me feel any good, but I didn't cared. I just needed to keep on doing something. And, in my drunken state, I thought that sleeping with that girl was a good idea. 

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Hey ! This is a fucking shitty entry, but there's good things for tomorrow, I swear ! It's just that tonight... Even thought it's Friday night, I needed to write a fucking essay and I still have one other to do tomorrow --' School sucks.