The Only One » cth [en]

18. jade makes a new friend

"Hi, you came! Please, come in." Beatrice opens the door with a huge smile.

"Yeah, happy birthday!" I hug the young woman in front of me.

Beatrice is turning 25 today and I was kinda surprised she invited me to a party at her place. But yeat again, saying she's social is a understatement so I can tell she has invited almost everyone.

Normally, I wouldn't come, but I could really use a distraction.

The apartment is full and some mainstream music is playing in the living room.

I go straight to the kitchen where some snacks and drinks are disposed.

I mix some vodka with coke and sit next to the counter. Since there's an openspace concept involved I can observe everything that has happened in the improvised dancefloor. Everyone is either happily chatting or dancing.

I don't recognise every face so I suppose Beatrice has a lot of friends.

When I'm halfway through my second glass, the urge to pee arrives at my body and I go look for a bathroom. Of course I bring my again filled cup and a bag of cheese balls.

I sinally find a door, that literally has a sign saying wc in it. Surprisingly, someone is crying inside.

"Sorry, is everything okay?" I knock and open the door.

The host of the party is sitting on the floor against the bath tub.

"Sorry, I guess you need to relieve yourself." She smiles, rubbing her eyes. I sit next to her.

"Do you want to talk about it or something?" I hand her my glass and she takes a big sip.

"Ugh, I hate being on my period. It makes me extra sensitive." She wipes the remaining tears while I eat another cheese ball. This lights are way too bright. Why do you need so many lights in a bathroom anyway? So you can see your surroundings well while you're taking a shit?

"I know, right?" Why can't our hormones let us be some badass bitches?" We chuckle. "Is something wrong with your party? It has a lot of lights."

"I didn't want this stupid party. My best friend threw it for me. He's out there making u«out with the guy I like. Right? It's too bright."

"Oh, here you go." I hand her the bag of appetizers and she takes a handful.

"Yeah, he didn't know. But he obviously doesn't like me so."

Between the two of us the drink ends and I curse myself for not bringing the bottle.

"Fuck him, you have to forget him if he's gay. I mean if he's a player. Sorry I'm kinda tipsy I think."

"I know. Are you trying to forget someone or?" She looks at the cupe and at my face suggestively.

"Oh no. It's not like that."

Someone knocks but Bea throws the cup to the door and sends the person away. Bea sounds nice.

"Now you got me interested."

She looks so into what I'm about to say, like she needs me to say something that will keep her from going back to the celebration that it makes me feel bad that I don't want to be honest with her. Mainly because I don't even want to be honest with myself.

"Hum, okay. So, there's this guy, he's friends with my cousin. I... like him. Like like." I lower my gaze.

"So? He doesn't like you back? Welcome to the rejection village. Current population: 2."

"No, he... I think he thinks he's not enough for me. Which is really untrue by the way. He's amazing and I'm... well, me."

"What's  that supposed to mean? You are amazing as well. Better than this lightning at least."

"Doesn't take much." I chuckle. "But you know what I mean, I'm not pretty or anything. Besides, my life is not that shining. I just don't want him to regret being with me."

"Jade, I'm gonna be honest now. I wish I had your soft hair." She messes my hair and then pets it like I'm a dog. "Really soft." I think she's a light drinker. "And your eyes are gorgeous. I understand everyone has insecurities, alright? I'm just saying some people don't need to. You're one of them."

I want to tell her that my face looks like a potato but I really want to smile at the same time. I never had a friend to compliment me like that. I've always hanged with the guys more.

"If you want to be with him and he wants to be with you, what's stopping you?"

"He doesn't know me."

"Have you let him?" She must notice the way I clench my teeth because she gives me a teasing smile. "Why not?"

"I guess I think it will scare him away."

"Well, Jade. Take it from me. Never is always too late."

A chill runs through my spine and I notice there's no more cheese balls.

"Thank you, Bea. Is Bea okay?"~

"Bea is funny." She giggles like a little kid and I blame it on the speed she gulped down my drink. "It's nice to have a friend once in a while."

"Yeah, it is."

"Call your guy." 

"What? Why?"

"Duh, just say you need to talk."

"That's not very reassuring, besides I asked for a week."

"Uhhh, that's a good idea. Make him wait."

At this moment she sounds excited by anything that comes out of my mouth. So I laugh until eventually my laugh turns into a pout.

It seemed like a good idea before, but now that I'm getting to the depression stage of my tipsy state I just find myself longing for his voice. 

And thank god that he doesn't answer when I call.