You're beautiful to me (Frerard)

chapter five : i cant prove this makes any sense

Title : The piano knows something I don't know - P!atd
Franks p.o.v.

It didn't work . I'm still alive. I failed. I'm a fucking failure. I'm sitting with my mum, she's droning on about god knows what but I'm not listening. All I can think about is Gerard. What he said to me. He cares? No he can't. He barely knows me. But he found me? Fuck I can't believe he saved me. I wish he hadn't. He's been here everyday since I got brought into the hospital. He barley comes in, sits outside. I look down at my hand. The one he held only a couple days ago. I wish he was holding it now.

"I like Gerard. He's a lovely boy." My mum says, bringing my attention back to her. I nodded in agreement. My mum notices that I'm now listening and smiles to herself. I give her a look and she just laughs.

"I'm going to go and get some food, I'll tell Gerard to come and sit with you." She says, standing up and offering me a knowing smile as she leaves. I feel my heart rate speed up a bit at the mention of his name. Calm down frank it's just Gerard. He walks in sheepishly and takes the seat next to me. He's so cute.

He smiles at me. A small soft smile. "How are You feeling?" He asks, dropping eye contact.

"Better, getting better." I say, lying through my teeth. Gerard looks at me knowingly but decides not to press it,

"The doctors say you might be getting out soon." He continues, looking at me through his hair.

Going home doesn't sound good. I mean it's not the worst thing, and I don't want to stay in the hospital. God I don't know what I want. My heads a mess. Gerard sees my conflicted expression and smiles at me.

"It's going to be okay. How ever cheesy that sounds. You've got me now." He says, putting his hand on mine. At first I'm shocked by the move, but then I move my hand so our fingers are laced together. Gerard blushes and my heart skips a beat. What's this boy doing to me.

"Tell me about you." I say, making him look at me again.

"Uh... uh what do you want to know?" He asks, looking at me with a sparkle in his eyes.

"Everything! Family, friends, pets, anything. I want to get to know you." I say, grinning.

"Well... I have a brother called Mikey. We live with my mum, my dad left when I was small. I never knew him so it's okay. Uh what else... I don't have... I don't have many friends. I keep to myself at school and don't talk to anyone. No one talks to me either. It's been like that as long as I can remember. Everyone thinks I'm a freak. Sorry... sorry I'm rambling. I'm not used to this." He says, looking away from me. I stroke the back of his hand with my thumb reassuringly.

"Is that why you looked to surprised when i talked to you on Monday?" I asked teasingly.

He smirked and nodded, remembering the moment.

"What about you?" He asks "why did you move?"

What was I going to tell him. He's been so honest with me and I feel I should return the favour.

"My mum and I had to leave. It wasn't safe living with... with my dad." I say, my voice trailing off at the end.

Gerard nodded and squeezed my hand, edging me on. My breathing was rapid and shaky as I remember him.

"He wasn't the nicest man. It started when I was young, around eight or so. He would beat us, me and my mum. There wasn't a moment when he wasn't yelling or screaming or hurling insults. It escalated when I was thirteen. It was when..." I look up Gerard. He wouldn't judge me would he? What if he left after I told him. What if he thought I was disgusting like my dad did. He was going to find out at some point. " when I came out to him. He couldn't stand it and took it out on me and my mum." I look at Gerard trying to read his expression. He looked angry, and I couldn't help but shy away a bit. Maybe he did hate me. Of course he would hate me. What was i thinking. I was shocked at what he said.

"I'm so sorry Frank, i can't believe that happened to you. It drives me insane when parents react like that to their children coming out. I got lucky with my mum, she didn't mind at all."

Wait... wait was Gerard gay??

"Are... are you gay?" I ask shyly, my heart rate increasing. Please say yes please say yes please say yes. His face looked shocked at first, like he hadn't realised what he had said

"Uh Yeah... yeah I am. But... but no one knows apart from my mum and brother." He says, blushing furiously. He's gay, he's gay. Oh thank god hes gay. Does that mean I might have a chance? No. Of course not. He'd never like someone like me. I realise I haven't said anything and have been staring at Gerard for too long.

"Wow...wow I wasn't expecting that." I manage to stutter out.

"Just because I don't go around wearing a pride flag doesn't mean I'm not." He laughs, looking back at me.

"I know I know I know." I laugh with him. He has such a beautiful laugh, I just want to hear him laugh all day. It makes me feel... happy. Knowing he's happy. I love it.

"I don't think you're a freak." I say, almost too quite for him to hear, almost. I give his hand a squeeze and he looks up at me. His eyes looking straight through me, making me want to collapse into his arms.

"Hello boys!" My mum said, bursting through the door. We quickly jump away from each other and I'm busy looking anywhere but him. My mum looks at us and smiles to herself before sitting down next to me.

"The doctors say you're good for release! You can come home." She says, grinning ear to ear. I copy her smile as she keeps talking about arrangements and plans. I'm not listening. All I can think about is the boy still holding my hand.