You're beautiful to me (Frerard)

chapter ten : romance is dead, and it hits between the eyes

Title : Romance (edit) - Ex:re

AN: not like the normal songs id name the book after but it fits this chapter. The sound not the lyrics. I call it numb music. Tell me what you think of it or not do your thing :)

GERARDS P.O.V

Frank hasn't eaten anything yet. It's lunch and im watching him fiddle with a sandwich in his hands. He's talking on and on about something and im laughing when I hear he's stopped talking but all I'm doing is watching his hands. Please just take a bite. One bite. I know he told me he would tell me if he was struggling with his eating but I doubt that was true. The bread is getting smaller and smaller but he isn't eating it. I know he's slipping it into his pocket I know he is. Please frank just take a bite. Please then I won't have to worry. Please. I know he's stopped talking but I can't thing myself back into the conversation. I'm so out of it. I hate my brain when it does this. I feel paralysed.

"Gerard?"

"Hmm?" I say, snapping out of my thoughts.

"What's wrong with you today? You've been off all day and now you've just sat in silence for five minutes. What's going on in that head of yours huh?" Frank asks, resting his hand on mine. His sandwich was gone. I know he didn't eat it.

"Frank. Frank I think. I think you should talk to Patrick about your eating." I sigh, taking my hand from his and rubbing my head with it.

"What??? What why?... I'm fine Gerard I told you earlier." He says, laughing at me like i was in making up the whole thing.

"Don't do that." I whisper. Not meeting his eyes.

"Do what?" He asks.

I can feel my leg shaking under the table and I start pressing into my arm where I burnt it. God I'm so pathetic.

"Don't make me feel like I'm making this up or that I've managed to imagine it. Don't make me feel like  I'm insane frank. Don't do it frank that isn't fair. " I say, my voice cracking.

"Gerard I don't know..." Frank continues

"Empty your pocket."

He looks at me like I've just killed his mother.

"W..what???" He asks, his whole body crumpling.

"Empty your pocket frank... Onto the table." I say, getting more agressive.

I can see his hands shaking as they slowly reach under the table to empty his pocket. He sighs before bringing out the contents and slowly edging it onto the table. His sandwich, toast from this morning and what looks like the day before's aswell.  I look at it and even though I knew it was there, I was hoping I was wrong. I was really hoping I was wrong.

"When was the last time you ate?" I ask him, my curiosity getting the better of me.

"I... I... Gerard I... Ate a couple of days ago... I'm fine." He mumbles, not meeting my eyes.

"Frank that's not okay. That's not normal. And I'd be willing to bet after you ate you threw it up right?" I say, whispering harshly at him.

As soon as I say it I regret it. His face crumples and he stares at the table. Fuck. I shouldn't have said it I know I shouldn't have. That's not fair of me at all.

"Frank I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that..."

"No... No I don't know why I would get upset at you for just staying the truth."

I look up at him in shock. This was worse then I thought.

"I'll talk to Patrick about it on Monday. Im sorry for lying earlier and I'm sorry you had to find out like this. I'm sorry for all of this Gerard I didn't mean for this to happen." As he says it he wipes a tear from his eyes and looks down at the table.