"Dylan, I'm leaving. I've been sitting my ass in this chair for the past hour and haven't got a single file done." I groan while logging out of my desktop.
He chuckles in response,"You can go, I for one have been actually productive and am almost done with my last assignment,"He says cockily, I'll tell boss you were here till 7 though."
I smile,"Thank you."
C H E A T E R
I sped through the highway even faster than the already fast 70 mph speed limit, I wanted to get home to Noah. We hadn't texted or called all day he said he had some office work to get done so I decided to leave him alone.
I jog up the apartment building stairs and jam the key into the key hole ready to be caught into the warm embrace of my boyfriend.
"Noah?" I call out once the door has opened realizing he's not in the living room. To my surprise I hear an echo of the name I just called out just in a more breathy and high pitched tone, almost like moaning.
My eyes widen hoping it's not what I assume it is.
I walk towards our bedroom with my eyebrows furrowed and hands clenched ready to yell out in fury as the moaning gets louder and the loud shifting of what sounds like the bed frame increaces.
At this point I'm well aware of what's happening right now so I stop mid hallway and prepare myself to scream my heart out.
I push the door open forefully allowing it to hit the back of the wall, letting them know I'm here. But when he turns around all the fury that had built up in me suddenly dissapears instead it's pain as I watch his eyes widen and quickly jump off of the bed grabbing the nameless blondes clothing and handing it to her.
I just hold my breath and wait for the bullshit he's about to tell me in attempt of saving the relationship, he puts his shirt and pants on while watching me from the corner of his eye probably curious as to why I haven't said anything yet.
The girl also fully clothes herself and exits the room with her head down probably in shame of sleeping with another woman's man, did she even know how much I loved him?
"Y/N," Noah gulps and walks towards me.
I look at the floor and sniffle, his face now disgusts me I can't even look at it.
I was once obsessed with his beautiful light brown eyes now when I look at them I realize there's nothing special about anyone with brown eyes. Their the orbs of a traitor, a fake, a fraud.
"Y/N, baby I'm sorry it's just that you weren't home a lot and-"
I held my hand out with my face turned,"Noah please stop, there's nothing you can say right now to justify your actions."
I walked over to the closet and crouched down pulling out my suitcase, the one that was half already packed due to the trip me and Noah were planning on taking to Cancun next week.
"Come on, we can talk about this please? What about Cancun? What about Gimbo? I can't raise him on my own."
I shuddered at the thought of my dog being left here with him,"I'll take Gimbo with me, oh and you can cancel the trip to Cancun, or go with your new lover." I shrugged finally looking up at him, his eyes were watery and glossy. Pathetic.
I chuckled, "Wipe your tears no one cares." I roll my eyes and continue to shove my clothing into the bag.
He's crying? Are you serious does he even know how much I'll cry for the next month hurting my emotional state questioning why he did this to me. Crying even though deep down I know that none of this was my fault, crying because the memories we shared together are permanently etched into my heart, crying because no one will ever make me feel as happy as he once made me feel.
Before I know it a wet glossy substances is running down my eyes as well. A substance that represents weakness and defeat. But I can't help but feel vulnerable here right now in front of him. I just wish I could hug him and feel his comfort again. I just wish I could move on and say you know what everyone makes mistakes.
But once a cheater always a cheater. I can't do this to myself, I can't let myself look stupid and dumb and let him think he won over me.
I zip the suitcase up and look at his face once again but my mind has already made the life changing decision I'm not wasting anymore time.
"Y/N," he whispers one last time.
"I'm sorry Noah, but if you really wanted me to stay you wouldn't have done something like this."
"Y/N, I love you though."
I stopped in the hallway, never in the 9 months that we had been dating had he ever said that to me. I always wondered why not, was I a waste of time from the beginning? Had he never had feelings for me? I always was tempted to say it to him, during or after we had sex I would always form the words in my mouth but never managed to spit them out, too afraid that he wouldn't feel it back mutually.
"You're just saying that to make me stay." I say without turning around.
It was silent for a few seconds until he sighed," But the sole reason I want you to stay is because I love you."
Stay.
I shook my head, no are you fucking stupid Y/N, he's just trying to get into your head. "I'm sorry Noah." BITCH WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU APOLOGIZING FOR HE PLAYED YOU NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND? "Come on' Gimbo." I say as I slide my vans on stepping out the door.
Gimbo slowly walks towards me probably confused as to why I have a suitcase but he obliges and walks out.
He grabbed my wrist before I could step out any further,"Please Y/N just look at me I swear I'll change, I'll stop drinking, I'll stop staying out late, I'll spend more time with you," he gulped,"I'll actually love you this time."
I look into his eyes feeling a ping of hurt in my heart, I was wrong once again brown eyes aren't as bad as I thought. Their just a bit confused and do things in the moment without thinking. But I don't think I could risk another few months of my life living with an unpredictable being. "Goodbye Noah." I walk out and throw my stuff into my trunk feeling his gaze on me as he followed me out to my car. I wanted to get out of here as fast as ever.
"Get in Gimbo." I say as I open up the backseat for my dog to hop into.
I walk around and rush into the car turning the engine on and speeding out of the parking lot as fast as I can.
My mind is distracted by the cars by my side and going at the correct speed but once I reach the railroad crossing awaiting the train to pass by my thoughts a hold me and it finally hits me.
I hate you, I love you
I hate that I want you
And so the tears that dared to fall finally fell and I screamed and began to feel the immense pain that would haunt me for months after this in my heart. Why was I so stupid, so vulnerable, so fucking in love to not notice?
