Promise Me? 5sos Ashton Irwin

Chapter Ten

*Ariel's POV*

"I think I like you" He blurted.

My face got red as I looked up. What did he just say?

"Wha what?" I said.

He sighed as he ran his hand through is hair.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to just blurt it like that" he said embarresed.

"Don't be sorry I get it you were just trying to stop me from babbling" I said giggling trying to lighten the mood.

We both sat there in a awkward silence. I could tell he was waiting for me to say something. I was trying to figure out what I wanted to say. Ashton was cute and caring but we haven't knew eachother that long. And Louis also just basically asked me out on a date.

"Ash... I'd be lying if I said I didn't find you attractive.  I'd also be lying if I said knew for sure that I didn't like you back. But especially  since we haven't known eachother long. I think we should get to know eachother more before we jump into anything" I said nervously.

"Also how do we know that it wasn't because we kissed when we were drunk" he said.

I don't know what came over me but I grabbed his shirt  and kissed him. He was shocked and didn't kiss me back at first but once he realized what was happening he kissed me back. I brought my fingers to his hair and pulled on the hair on the back of his neck, causing him to deepen the kiss.

When we finally pulled away we both sat there trying to catch our breath.

"Did that clear anything up" I said once I caught my breath.

"Yea actually" he said chuckling.

"All right now about we both just think and figure things out" he said.

I nodded my head in agreement.

"Do you want a ride home" he asked me.

I nodded and gave him a smile. He got up and held his hand out for me. I took it and we walked to his car. He opened the door for me then went to his side. Just then my phoned beeped and it was a text from Mikey.

Hey Ariel. How'd it go?-Mikey

Good actually. We both decided to figure out our feelings and get to know eachother before we jump into a relationship or anything-Ariel

Well... I hope that goes good for you guys. I don't know about you but I know it's been a while since Ash has been in a relationship. His last one didn't end that well and some stuff happened. If you guys do get together I hope it ends well. If you guys don't I hope you guys are still good friends.-Mikey

I'll always be your guy's friend no matter what-Ariel.

"So how are you liking it being on tour with us so far" Ash said breaking the comfortable silence.

"I'm actually really enjoying it. I'd rather travel the world with you guys then sit at home and trying to figure out what I want to do with my life." I admitted.

The other reason I didn't want to be at home is because home reminds me of all the things that happened during my teen years. I was diagnosed with deppression when I was 15. I started cutting when I was 16 due to my anxiety and depression. I don't want the guys to find out about it though. People always seem to get weird after I tell them. That why I only have 4 friends. I've only been in 3 relationship and the last one I was in triggered my deppression. My parents when they get drunk can be awful also. I have a habit of breaking down sometimes and I'm glad I haven't done that yet.

"Ariel were here" Ash said breaking me from my thoughts.

"Oh" I said giggling.

He got out of the car and walked to my side of the car and opened my door. We then proceeded to the hotel room.

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*later at 5pm*

All of the boys except for mikey were out at an arcade. Mikey was in the other room playing video games. I decided to text my mom.

Hey mom how are you-Ariel

After fifteen minutes of her not replying I decided to call her.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

"Hello" my mom slurred

"Mom are you drunk" I asked.

"I may have had a few things to drink" my mom said innocently.

"Why" I asked. I hated it when my mom would drink. She would always say things she knew would hurt my feelings. When she was drunk she didn't care if she hurt my feelings or triggers anxiety or depression.

"Because I am a grown woman and I can do it if I want to" she spat.

I sighed. I know I should hang up when she's like this but I haven't talked to her since I left.

"Ok mom. Well how have you been" I asked.

"Well much better now that you aren't here" my mom said.

My face grew pale with what she had said.

"What?" I replied not sure that i want the answer.

"You heard me. All of your teen years I had to deal with all of your appointments because you were "hurting". All of the times I had to pretend to care when you would cry in my arms. Your so pathetic. You could never keep your feelings to yourself. You just had to keep on coming to me. The only times I ever had pity for you is that you can't just shut up and keep your feelings to yourself. Me and your father  have been talking and were so happy that your going to be gone  for 8 months we just wish it was more. We hate you. We wish that we would of put you up for adoption a long time ago. Goodnight Ariel." She spat.

My mom has said alot of awful stuff towards me but never this bad. She never sounded like she was telling how she really felt. I felt a year escape as I made mt way into the bathroom. I've been 2 months clean but I honestly couldn't handle my emotion right now. My own mother just told me that she hated me. That she never cared about me or my depression.

*trigger warning*
*trigger warning*
*trigger warning*

I went into my bad and pulled out my emergency blades. I then went back into the bathroom and closed the door. I started sobbing loudly. I took the blade and dragged it across my skin. 1 cut. 3 cuts. 5 cuts. 7 cuts.

I stopped once I heard knocking on the door.

"Ariel I heard you crying are you all right" Mikey said with a worried voice.

"Y y y yes" I said not able to supress my sobs.

"Let me in" he demanded

"Mikey I'm fine" I sobbed

"If your fine then let me in" he said his voice stern.

I hesitated as I opened the door as soon as he saw my wrist and the blades in face went white.

"Ariel what did you do?!" He exclaimed.

I just say there sobbing while he rushed to go get towels. Once he came back he set the cloth and told me to sit on the toilet. He put the towel on my skin and looked a me with tears in his eyes.

"Ariel what happened." He asked his voice laced with concern.

"My mom doesn't love me"