Letters Back Home

Chapter Fourteen

Seventh Month

Letters came at odd times. The end of the months began to come too fast and my stomach just kept growing. I was used to the pain now and I had now been to the doctors for my last ultrasound. Work was now completely out of the question so here I sat, left to my thoughts on what could be happening to my husband. Jesse and Katy came over the other day and felt Evangeline kick. I still hadn't thought of any good middle names and I was afraid she may not have one which didn't seem right.

The TV remote became almost permanently fused to my hand that way I always had control of the news and had no risk of accidentally missing any important news. The president talked about dire times in the Middle East and I cried when he said the war may not be changing for awhile. I needed my husband back, if not for me and the help I need raising Evangeline, than for Evangeline to grow up with a father. This was Nick's last year in the force and I had hoped he would be coming home soon.

Labor pains taunted me in my sleep and nightmares of Nick not coming home prevented me from shutting my eyes afterwards. The due date was now set for September 13th and I was beginning to make last minute shopping trips. You could say the little things became major advantages of taking my mind off of Nick's leave.

I got a letter the other day saying he may not be in contact with the chopper anymore and so letters may not make it out. Worry struck me so hard that if I hadn't been sitting down already then I am pretty sure I would have passed out with fear. The letters were becoming my only clasp on sanity and to have the possibility in the back of my mind as to them no longer coming terrified me.

Dearest,

I am afraid this may be my last letter until I can come back to the base. Major leads have been established with the Taliban and villages are becoming saved in just the lick of time. I felt proud today, I helped a woman and child out of a burning building and for a moment could have sworn it was you. I believe this desert heart has started to mess with my eyes because I saw your face appear with her smile. I couldn't help but hug her tightly and reassure her everything was fine even though I am pretty sure she couldn't understand me. It always feels good to know someone is there even if it is a stranger.

If this is good bye Sammy, I want you to know that you are my stars. Every night I look up at the dark sky that holds such beauty and think of you. I wonder how such beauty can exist in such a war filled world. I feel your smile in my chest every time I am able to help any villagers. I feel your hugs as I fall asleep under the stars praying for forgiveness each night I must take a life. If war could be solved with words I would speak forever. I wonder how I will go but try to focus on the more important things like how to get back to you. I am trying to get to you baby doll, I am trying to get back to my family.

I love you so much,

With all I am,

Nicky