Letters Back Home

Chapter Fifteen

Eighth month

I woke with a jolt from a nightmare of Nick. They were becoming more regular, each time the dream crying out for me to help him. I reached out but each time not being able to connect because he would disappear. The cold sweat that sat on my forehead and the weary look I had in my eyes became a normal look for me.

Sleep hadn't been in my best interest for the last couple of months and I was inching towards labor. I tried to stay positive for Evangeline to grow but I couldn't help but think of Nick. Somewhere fighting for everyone but not being able to stay for his own family. I cursed the army but prayed for his safe return. Prayers became unanswered as I stared out the window motionlessly waiting for him to walk up to the door.

~*~

I stood washing dishes and listening to music, trying to escape my thoughts when I looked out the window of my kitchen. A jet black, Mercedes with government plates pulled up by the curb. I prayed it was for the neighbors because this couldn't mean good news. I cursed myself loudly as they inched towards my door. There were two men in uniforms and they hung their heads low once they read the address on the mailbox.

I covered my mouth with my hands and dropped the plate I had been washing into the sink, not caring if broke.

Ding.

I didn't want to go.

Ding.

I didn't want to step towards the door.

Knock knock.

Maybe if I didn't open the door then they won't have to tell me what's wrong. I won't have to face any of the horrible news they may be prepared to tell me. As much as I tried to will myself back, my body disobeyed. My feet drug themselves slowly across the hardwood floors until eventually my hand was risen above the door handle.

Knocks came again and I opened the door to the uniformed gentlemen.

"Hello? How may I help you?" I asked trying not to think the worse. There was something caught in my throat as I tried to hold back all my tears.

"Mrs. Anderson?" I was afraid they had the right house and hearing my name only confirmed my fears.

"Ye-yes?" I asked trying to choke back my sobs.

"I'm sorry ma'am but your husband Nicholas Anderson hasn't been reporting in awhile and he has been marked as Missing in Action. The government--" I became oblivious to any other words he may be saying as I backed up against the wall for some stability.

Missing in Action. M.I.A.

He was gone?

No! I wouldn't allow him to be.

He was only missing. There could still be hope. I wasn't going to give up now. I hadn't come this far in my life to just give up on raising a child and waiting for my husband.

My love would return.

I wouldn't stop believing. Missing in Action wasn't dead and Lord help me if I was going to let that stop me. Missing in Action was only one step away from either direction. Death or coming home alive. I would keep my hopes and prayers on the side I wanted that step to go.

Coming home alive.