Dregs Reunion

Part Two- Kaz

It had been a day since they had started toward the East side of Ketterdam, and it would be another half day of walking before they got there. Kaz wasn't deluding himself, he knew that this would take longer than the three days allotted, but something told him to go all the same.

"Wake up," he told Nina, nudging her with his foot.

They had opted to stay outside for the night rather than rent rooms at an inn.

Nina groaned and rolled over. "Please tell me we have waffles for breakfast."

"No," said Inej, walking over, "waffles are not on the menu."

Kaz glanced at Inej, then quickly averted his eyes. She looked pretty in the morning light, and he wished he had something to say to her. Wished that they were alone. Wished, again, that he didn't feel the way he did.

The worst part of the wishing was that he knew it was just that: wishing.

"I need waffles to get up," said Nina.

"How about Jesper's flute playing instead?" said Kaz. "Because if we wait too long he's going to start practicing."

Nina bolted upright. "Saints save my poor ears," she said, and got ready.

Inej smirked and turned to Kaz as Nina went off to have a waffle-free breakfast. "So, how have you been, Brekker?"

"Well enough," Kaz replied, a little hurt by the detachment of her voice. "How are you?"

"Fine. Saving girls is hard work, but it's worth it."

"I pity the poor men who have to go against you," Kaz rasped.

Inej sat down and looked at him doubtfully. "Enough with the small talk." she stretched out her legs. "So, who's my replacement?"

Kaz flinched. "Who do you think?"

"Someone I've never met before that you picked up on the streets."

"Right again. Aren't as good as you," he added.

Inej looked up at him again. Sighed. Looked away. "Don't do this, Kaz," she said, voice a defeated whisper.

"Do what?"

"Get my hopes up. We're broken, both of us. Me from Tante Heleen and you from..." her voice trailed off. "Whatever happened. Don't give me hope that this will work someday. Don't try to tell me that we can try."

"Why can't we?"

"Because the way you'll have me is with your hands gloved, head turned away so our lips can never touch."

The words were so similar to the ones she had told Kaz before... and they still hurt just as much.

"I will have all of you," she said, gaze still not meeting his, "or not at all."

I will have you without armor, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all.

Kaz stared at his gloved hands for a second before sitting next to her, resting his cane on the ground.

"What if we started," he said, slipping his gloves off, "with some of me, or not at all?"" he reached over and clasped her hand in his without flinching or hesitating.

Inej turned her gaze to his. "That," she said softly, "would be a start."