Lucifer Chronicles

Fastidious

They snuck through Crowley's oddly empty mansion, setting up their trap, until the man himself was spotted. 

"Crowley, right?" Sam asked, as they walked into view. 

"So, The Hardy Boys finally found me. Took you long enough." Crowley turned his gaze on Erin and Ariel. "Ah, and you brought the lovely wife, and sister. You really didn't need to get all dressed up for me, love." Crowley told Ariel, taking in her fancy attire. He walked towards them, but stopped right before he stepped onto a rug. He noticed the corner was slightly rumpled, so he lifted it up to reveal a devil's trap painted on the underside. "Do you have any idea how much this rug cost?" 

"Probably a shit ton." Ariel shrugged, ignoring the glare she received from Crowley. 

Two demons appeared behind them, disarming them, and holding them in place. 

Crowley gave them a smirk, and held up a long barreled revolver. "This is it, right? This is what it's all about." Crowley aimed the gun at Ariel's head. "We need to talk." He shifted his aim just behind her and shot the demon holding her and Erin, then shot the one holding Dean and Sam. "privately." He led them into a room reminiscent of an office. 

"What the hell is this?" Dean asked looking around. 

"Do you know how deep I could have buried this thing?" Crowley walked deeper into the room, looking at the gun. 

"So why do you still have it?" Erin asked, suspicious. 

Crowley waved his hand, closing the door to the dimly lit room. "I want you to take this thing to Lucifer and empty it into his face." 

"Uh-huh, okay." Dean sarcastically nodded. "And why exactly would you want the devil dead?" 

"It's called-" Crowley set the gun down on the end of his desk. "Survival. I forgot you two at best were functioning morons." He motioned to Sam and Dean. 

"You're functioning... morons..." Dean lamely shot back. 

"Proving his point Dean." Ariel mumbled towards her brother. 

"He didn't say we were morons." Erin pointed out, nudging Ariel. 

"Lucifer isn't a demon, remember?" Crowley sneered. "He's an angel. An angel famous for his hatred of humankind. To him, you're just filthy bags of pus. If that's the way he feels about you, what can he think about us?"

Through Crowley's whole rant, the Winchester's were all eyeing the gun that was so close to them. 

"But he created you." Sam said, his eyebrows pulling together in confusion. 

"To him, we're just servants. Cannon fodder. If Lucifer manages to exterminate humankind, we're next. So, help me, huh? Let's all go back to simpler, better times, back to when we could all follow our natures. I'm in sales, dammit! So what do you say if I give you this thing, and you go kill the devil?" Crowley held out the gun, handle first. They all glanced at each other, nobody going to reach for it. Crowley wiggled the gun, raising his eyebrows. 

Ariel, being the closest, sighed and pulled it from his hand, giving it over to Sam. "Great." She rolled her eyes. 

"Great." Crowley smirked, walking around the desk to retrieve his scotch glass. 

"You wouldn't happen to know where the devil is, by chance, would you?" Erin sighed, utterly annoyed by his snooty behavior. 

"Thursday, birdies tell me, there's an appointment in Carthage, Missouri." He took a sip from his glass, and placed on hand in his pants pocket, instantly taking on an air of relaxed sophistication. 

"Great." Sam pulled the gun up, pointing the barrel between Crowley's eyes. He pulled the trigger just as Erin and Ariel dove on opposite sides to the floor, clutching their ears, worried for their hearing. However, the gun only clicked, signalling it was actually empty. Sam pulled the gun down, mouth slightly agape. 

Erin and Ariel slowly pulled themselves from the floor, both feeling slightly embarrassed at their reactions. 

"Oh, yeah." Crowley didn't flinch at all. "You'll probably need some more ammunition." He went around his desk, opening one of he drawers, shuffling things around. 

"Oh, uh, excuse me for asking, but aren't you kind of signing your own death warrant? I mean, what happens to you if we go up against the devil and lose?" Ariel asked, watching him carefully, still not trusting the situation. 

"Awh, worried for me, love?" He smirked before quickly dropping the act. "No,he's going to wipe us all out anyway. And after you leave here, I go on an extended vacation to all points nowhere. And how about you don't miss, okay? Morons!" 

"Okay, that time he called us morons." Erin whispered. 

Crowley tossed a rolled up fabric towards Dean, who unrolled it it show bullets for the colt. 

When they looked back towards Crowley he was gone.