Face-Palm

3. The Stupid Main Character

 3. The Stupid Main Character

Why are the main characters always so stupid? Do they have cheese in their brains or something? If this guy sees you laughing and holding hands with another guy and is snapping at you like he's on his period--"Why is he so angry? I don't understand! Maybe he failed his math test today. Yes, that must be it." No, you dumbnugget! He freaking likes you and he's jealous, understand? Yes, there are dense people, but nobody is that dense, especially if you just spent a paragraph saying things like, "He looked at our intertwined hands and an emotion passed through his angry eyes--could that be jealousy? Why would he be jealous?"

One more thing: the character never has a MEMORY. For example, if in Chapter Two there's a scene that goes:

"There was a another kid in the guidance office. He said his name was Joe. He was tall, had bright purple hair and storm grey eyes, and spoke with a British accent."

And then in Chapter Three:

"I ran into a guy. He looked super familiar. He was tall, had bright purple hair and storm grey eyes, and spoke with a British accent. I wonder where I'd seen him before. 'Hi, I'm Joe,' the stranger said."

Like, come on. Nobody actually has a 3-second memory span like fish (which is actually just a myth, by the way). Even if your main character is supposed to be the dumbest kid in the school who's failing all their classes, they're not going to forget a purple-haired British guy named Joe in a period of two chapters. Human beings are smart, guys! We're an intelligent species!