sk8 -mid 90's

SAD

CHAPTER 13: SAD

"ARE you okay Cameron?" Ruben asked for the 29th time that day, sitting on the opposite side of my door. No. I was far from ok. I had officially felt broken.

I was alone. Roman left home as soon as my mom's baby was born to stay with Ian, and I didn't have Fuckshit anymore. I wasn't even sure if the guys were still friends were with me.

I have felt so alone, and vulnerable, just sad. So sad. It's like even when I want to feel happy, I physically can't. It made my heart hurt too much.

"Cameron, I'll be back in 30 minutes. Please don't do anything you'll regret. I love you so much," Ruben said standing up.

I heard his foot steps retreat and I stood up walking out of my room and across the hall to Roman and my bathroom.

I puked my breakfast, and lunch. I had no appetite ever, and I just don't feel like myself.

I quickly washed my face, and brushed my teeth.

I looked in the mirror, and I looked rough. My eyes were bloodshot, I had giant bags under my eyes, my hair was tremendous! I looked almost as bad as I felt.

I decided to shower, but before I got it, I noticed that my rib cages were popping out. I had no stomach anymore. I looked sick.

I showered and then changed into a pale yellow shirt, and some baggy jeans.

Something to hide what was happening.

I tied my belt, and it went to the last loop, something I had never even imagined would happen.

I walked back down stairs to see John holding the baby, her name was Kate Marie. Pretty I suppose, she just didn't feel like she was related to me. It was like my mom had a whole new family.

"Cameron can you come hold Kate for a second so I can go to the bathroom and get her a bottle?" He asked and I nodded sitting next to him, grabbing the baby.

She was adorable and looked like my mom.

She has dark brown hair and blue eyes, but my brother and I were both blonde like my dad. She looked adopted almost.

I sat for a good 10 minutes before he came back. "Thank you so much Cam! Love you," he said and I nodded walking away as fast as possible.

I didn't love him. He was just some baby daddy to me. He did get better though. He wasn't as, open with us now.

I walked back upstairs to the bathroom, and brushed my hair. It was still wet, but where the fuck was I going.

My door was closed when I walked across the hall. Fucking weird.

I opened it to see everyone scattered around my room. Ruben was sitting in my chair, Ray was looking through my records, Stevie sat on the floor, which left Fourthgrade and Fuckshit sitting on my bed.

I walked over to Ruben, "what the fuck?" I whispered and he smiled.

"You needed us. I promise," he said and all the boys walked out of my room leaving Fuckshit on my bed holding one of my pillows.

"Hey," he said looking over at me, and I turned my back to him putting on lip gloss at my vanity.

"Hi," I said watching him from the mirror.

His eyes watched me, every moment. It was so weird, but it felt good to have some sense of attention.

"You look pretty," Fuckshit said as I turned around. I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear and mumbled a thank you, sitting next to him.

"Look," I began and he cut me off, "you're so skinny."

I nodded and said, "yeah I guess."

"Why haven't you been eating?" He asked and I shrugged, "I have been."

"I can see you're rib cages through your shirt Cameron. What the fuck do you mean you've been eating," he said feeling my ribcage, and I pushed his hand off.

"Since when have you decided to care? To take how I felt into consideration? Oh wait," I started and he cut me off, "I've always fucking cared, don't even start with that."

"Then why weren't you there weeks ago, when I needed you. To stop me from throwing up all my meals. Or when Roman left leaving me alone with no one? You weren't here. No need to bullshit the 'I care' line," I said and he rolled his eyes. "Can't you see why I walked away. I walked away for you. Because you deserve better then what I gave you. You deserve someone who will fucking always be there."

"Bullshit," he cut me off again, "Cameron. I fucked up. I don't know how the fuck I messed this up so bad. I lost the most important person in my life to fucking alcohol and a hoe. I've literally never been so fucking disappointed in myself. I've messed with you again, and I can't fucking forgive myself for it," Fuckshit said looking me in the eyes.

I looked him in the eyes, his looking right back at mine.

And I felt something.

He leaned in, and I followed connecting our lips.

A fucking mistake, but it took away the sad.

KENZIE
i clearly don't know how to update for shit. anyways,,
just wanted to express how much all the comments, votes, and reads mean to me! it really does mean a lot to me, and i'm so grateful for them! okay okay so to the book;

do you guys like fuckshit + cameron?

i didn't at first and am starting to i guess. i just feel like they're so different you would never expect characters like them together.

okay that's it, have a good day/night! ily!

xx kenz💓