Broken

Chapter Seven

Chester's Point of View:

I snuck away from the guys as they all began talking about Mike and I's relationship. It wasn't uncomfortable or anything like I thought it would be. I expected them all to hate me or something if they don't already. I went back into the bathroom, ready to do something I wasn't able to do before. I haven't done this for about two days but I need to again. It helps me make the pain I feel inside, go on the outside. I can actually control this pain.

I take out my favorite blade. It's a small one I got out of a pencil sharpener. It works better than it sounds. It's sharp and small enough so I can see what I'm doing and control it better. It's easy to hide and no one questions it. That's why it's my favorite, it's perfect. I was about to begin but I stopped. I stared at it and tossed it back, deciding I needed something harder to ease my nerves this time.

"Hello?" The lady on the other side of the phone greeted me warmly. I didn't even remember picking up the phone or dialing the number I knew by heart.

"Hey, Elisa," I answered back to her, not knowing if she'd remember me.

"Chazzy? Hun, is that you?" She asked, pleasantly surprised. "Didn't go well with your girl, huh, sweetness?"

"Yeah, it's me. No, she's left me."

"Awe, I'm sorry, baby. Is there anything I can do to heal the wounds that bitch left you?" She asked seductively, making me roll my eyes. She's always like this to try and get more cash from her buyers.

"I just need a hit as soon as possible. We're in Europe and going to our next venue. Do you have any dealers in the-"

"Oh, baby, I'm going to your show tomorrow. Don't worry about it, hun, I'll be there and I'll give you everything you need." She assured me. I chewed on my bottom lip, I never liked buying from her in person. I'd rather deal with any of her workers.

"Is there any possible way for me to get it sooner? We're almost to our next hotel, The Greenwoods, you know the place?"

"Well of course, Chazzy, that's practically dealer central!" She beamed, pride was filling her voice.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked, extremely confused. I've never been to this hotel before but I would know if this place meant something to most addicts. "Why are you in Europe anyway?"

"Sweetheart, lots of us were either evicted or chased away by the law. This was our escape, baby. We took over this city and hotel, I'm sure you'll see more friends when you arrive." She answered as though it was no big deal.

"What do you mean? I only had about three friends into drugs and you were one of them!"

"Hun, almost our entire town turned to the powder. Everyone has taken a hit if not gotten consumed by it completely. Baby doll, I'm sorry to be the one to tell you, but everyone's changed and moved away. I'm sure if you went back home, half the people you once knew are dead, while the others are probably here. We lost a lot of good folks, sweetie." She sighed deeply with grief.

"Elisa... I-"

"I'll see you tonight, honey. Meet me in room 5b, knock three times. Love you, hun." She hung up the phone. With a grunt, I tossed mine to the side. I sighed deeply, hating myself. I can't believe I'm actually going through with this. I search around for my wallet. Nothing.

"Shit," I swore to myself and my hands began shaking. I needed the drugs. This one time in so many years that I hadn't taken any. The one time and I don't have any cash. This could cost me up to $100 from her! I debated on what I should do. I couldn't take from the band. If they found out they fed my poor habits return, they would hate me forever! I can't deal with that.

"Hey, Ches, why'd you leave back there?" Mike asked me. I turned around to be greeted by his bright smile.

"I had to make a quick phone call," I excused myself, not completely lying.

"Really? To who?" Mike's smile faltered and he looked me in the eyes, making me quite nervous.

"Uh, my mother. Yeah, she wanted me to call her before I left for tour but I forgot."

"That was a pretty quick call for someone talking to their mother that they haven't spoken to in months." He noted, I nodded my head, thinking quickly.

"She's at work right now, I didn't know before. I'll have to call her again later. Say, Mike, can we make a quick stop at the bank?" I asked, breaking eye contact.

"Why don't you have any cash?"

"Why are you asking so many questions? Mike, what's up with you?" I ask, trying to be non-suspicious one out of us two.

"Nothing. Yeah, we can stop at the bank but do you mind answering my last question?" I actually didn't know how I'd lost so much money. I haven't done the drugs in years. I suddenly realized where all my cash went, making me feel horrible.

"I think I used it all by buying alcohol," I muttered, exhaling slowly. I'm pretty sure I'm not an alcoholic but how else would I have lost all my money?

"Oh, Chaz," He said, his voice filled with grief. His arms suddenly went around me and pulled me tightly. "Promise me that the money you borrow from the bank won't be spent on liquor."

"I promise," I swore, knowing that it would be the truth but not for the better.