As I look at my best friend, taking in his fine muscles, and the way they flex when he reaches forward to grab something from the kitchen shelf, all I can wonder is 'why now?'. Why now am I suddenly noticing his muscles or the way he looks really good in the dark jeans he wears (the ones that seem to fit him perfectly)? And why now am I noticing how good his lips look, the plump redness of them matching his tanned skin? It doesn't make sense.
“Hey mate, you okay?” Kade is part Australian and never fails to remind me with his Australian lingo, but all of a sudden, I find his accent a whole lot more... sexy. Which is strange as I've been teasing him about it for the past seven or so years that we've been friends.
“Yeah, man. I'm good. Just a little tired I guess.” Although, truth be told, I'm more alive than ever. Every bone in my body is willing me to move forwards just to get a little closer to him, and I don't know the reason why. I mean, I'm not gay. Neither's he - that I know of. Unless he's an incredible actor, but for some reason I doubt that.
Then again, recently he has been acting kind of off. He's skipped tons of parties and I never notice him checking out the girls around the halls any more. I don't know, maybe he's just looking for something more serious.
“You have that look on your face.” His comment makes me flush. What look? And how does he know 'that look' so well?
“W- What look?”
“Something botherin' ya?”
Oh, if only I could just come right out and say that I'm starting to think my best mate is sexy, despite the fact that I've always been known as a complete ladies man. I don't really know whether or not that would go down well.
“Fine, man. I'm fine.”
He doesn't look particularly convinced, but seems to understand that I'm not willing to talk and decides to just let me go back to my thoughts, even though I'd rather have a distraction.
I think I must've been completely out of it for a couple of minutes, as soon a hand is being waved in front of my face to get my attention. Snapping out of my daze, I look up to find Kade's face surprisingly close to my own. And that has me jumping back, wanting to get away from him before I find myself getting lost in his piercing blue eyes.
“Sure you're okay, mate?” His voice is filled with a concern that has my knees growing weak.
Damn, I have to get out of here, before I find myself doing something I'll regret later.
“Yeah, I- Uh- I gotta go. Bye.”
Grabbing my jacket from the kitchen counter, I run out of there and to the front door, where I don't even bother putting my shoes on, just taking them from the floor and carrying them out of there as I use my free hand to open the front door. I run out onto the streets, barely noticing the rough ground beneath me that threatens to cut through my socks' fabric and pinch at my skin.
I don't take in any of my surroundings, I just run. Because this – whatever 'this' is – isn't right. I shouldn't be feeling this way. I shouldn't be feeling so drawn to him; my best friend, of all people. And I definitely should not be wanting to reach forward and kiss him. I am not gay.
Eventually, after another ten minutes or so of straight-out sprinting, I reach my favourite spot. It's underneath a small bridge that stretches over a nearby canal. And it's the one place I have always come to if I need to think over something. Although, technically, I really don't want to have to think about it at all.
And in all honesty, I don't know what 'it' is, so how can I think about something if I don't know what I'm supposed to be thinking about? Damn, my head is messed up. Maybe I was dropped as a baby. Multiple times.
Taking in deep breaths, I suddenly can't help but laugh. This whole situation is wrong. I. Am. Not. Gay. And there is no way in Hell that I am going to turn gay just because my best friend is attractive. Hell, he's always been attractive and I've never really cared. We were just best friends. Nothing more than best friends. And nothing could change that – because hitting on my best friend would be pretty hard to explain. Wait, and because I'm not gay. Definitely not gay. No way, Jose.
I let out a deep sigh as I think over my options. I can either act like nothing happened and I haven't contemplated kissing my best friend, or I can kiss him and see how he reacts. Although, the latter would definitely go against the idea that I'm not gay. Hell, not the idea, the fact. The fact that I'm not gay.
I feel something vibrating in my back pocket, and as I let out a huge breath of air, I flip open my old phone and put it to my ear.
“Justin?” He sounds frantic as he speaks the single word.
“Kade.” I sigh. Of course it's be him. I should really check the caller ID before answering the phone.
“Where are you? What happened? Are you okay?” As he takes in a deep breath, gasping for air on the other side of the line, I decide to intervene.
“I'm fine. Just... thinking.”
“I'll be right there.” And I don't even get the chance to argue back as he hangs up the phone. That boy knows me way too well. He knows that this is my thinking spot. And I'm smart enough to know not to move from my spot, as he'll kill me if he turns up to find I've left. Actually, he'll hunt me down and then kill me. And considering the fact that he knows all my hiding spots, I doubt that would be hard.
A few minutes later, after listening to the sounds around me for what seems to be an eternity, the roar of a motorbike brings me back to the present.
I don't bother to look up as I hear Kade getting off the bike and slinging his helmet over the handle bars, most likely not bothering to lock them, as usual. No-one would be stupid to try and steal anything Kade owns anyway. Despite his admittedly sexy looks, he can put up one Hell of a fight. And everyone here damn well knows it.
I hear him sitting down beside me, before I can feel the heat radiating off of his body. Yeah, he's hot. Smokin' hot. Has potentially being gay really changed my thoughts so much? Well, I guess if I like guys, I'll start looking at them like I used to with the ladies. Except at this moment, I'm not looking at Kade, I can just feel him.
“What the fuck was that, mate?” His out-of-the-blue question catches me off guard. How the Hell am I supposed to explain that to him anyway?
“Nothing.” I almost whisper the word.
“Nothing? Fucking nothing? You call that nothing? You just got up and bloody left! For no reason.” He looks at me angrily, all-of-a-sudden standing up from his spot beside me. “That was not nothing.” His words aren't only laced with venom, they are venom. It doesn't manage to seep through as it usually does when he's a little angry, no, it is right there. It is the words. And that means that the dude is just about ready to explode.
And funnily enough, I've never seen him so angry like this. But I know that it turns me on. With some sick-minded twist of fate, it turns me on enough to get up and push him back against the wall. It turns me on enough to push my body up against his as his skin flushes a bright red. And it turns me on enough to whisper four words into his ear that I never thought I'd hear myself say to another guy; “You look fucking hot.” And I swear to God, he gulps.
“What are you doing?” He chokes out the words, although the look in his eyes tells me he knows... And that he is sure as Hell enjoying each moment of it. Of having another guy pressed so close to him.
His eyes are filled with lust and I almost pause my actions just to wonder if he really is gay. But I don't. Instead, I inch my face away from his, until I am looking him in the eyes again. And before either of us has the time to register what I am doing, I do the unthinkable.
I kiss him.
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YOU ARE READING
Teach Me To Be Gay (BoyxBoy)
Teen FictionJustin and Kade. Two very close friends, who are both (supposedly) straight. Until one kiss equals a bunch of uncontrollable feelings and a confession from both sides.