Nothing other than surprise flickers across his features as he looks up at me, taking his hands away from his face and letting his eyes meet with mine. "What?"
Sighing, I slip into the bed, pulling Kade down beside me, loving the feel of his arms immediately wrapping around my body, so that he's effectively holding me, with my head laying on his chest as one hand starts fiddling with my hair.
"I just wish... I wish that I could run onto the streets and tell everyone we're together without having to fucking worry about what they'll say. It sucks knowing every day that if I tell anyone we're together, we're gonna get a fuck load of hate for it." I close my eyes. It's something that's been bothering me for a while. The fact that we're hidden. But the problem is, I'm the one who's too worried to tell anyone. Kade probably would've happily told them after a week of us going out, but I didn't want to. I'm the reason we aren't public and the realisation sucks.
"I know, Justin, I know." He doesn't say anything else, and I honestly don't blame him. His hand has stops playing with my hair, twisting the locks that need to be cut shorter. A silence surrounds us and I know it's me that has brought it upon us.
"Kade?" I don't really know what I'm gonna say if he replies. But my mouth seems to have a mind of it's own now, my vocal box working without my permission and the simple word escaping my mouth without me being able to stop it.
"Yeah?"
I stay silent, not sure what to say. It makes me feel so stupid, I'm a fucking idiot. Why? Why do I have to be so stupid sometimes?
I hear him let out a sigh. One of those sighs where you know that they just aren't happy right now. But he's Kade, and so, instead of having some sort of rant at me or telling me to fuck off, or anything like that, he just takes in a deep breath, saying; "Justin, what we do... it's up to you."
I turn around so that I'm lying on my stomach, peering up at Kade as he looks down at me, awaiting my response. "Well," deep breath, "I said things have to change, right?" He nods, and I can tell he's trying to piece things together as I go. "Then it looks like I'm gonna have to make them change... I'm gonna tell people about us."
"What are we on now? Lesson five? Six?"
I turn my head back to look at Kade in confusion. Currently, we're both standing on the pathway to my parents' house, and I think I'm pretty close to shitting myself with just how nervous I'm feeling. "I think I'm about to kill two lessons with one stone... So six, I guess."
"Ooh, telling the parents and meeting the parents?" I nod my head as a confirmation, causing Kade to do a weird squealing thing that I never thought would suit him... but it does, oh boy, it definitely does.
"Technically though, you've already met the parents." Kade sticks his tongue out at me, for no reason whatsoever (that I can tell) before smiling what appears to be a slightly smug smile. Oh, so he's feeling smug about already knowing the parents, ey? "But it doesn't count really, this is more like a formal meeting as boyfriend and... boyfriend." All of a sudden, my nerves have sky-rocketed as I remember just why we're here. Shit, shit, shit, I feel like I'm walking the path to my death instead of the pathway to my parents' house. Although, to be honest, it ain't really that far off, considering what my parents' reactions will no-doubt be.
I really don't want to do this.
But somehow, throughout all of my thinking time, Kade has managed to ring the doorbell and hide behind a bush. Shit, I'm alone from here on.
"Justin?" Fuck. I look up to meet my mother's shocked face. To be honest, I think that's pretty much the only emotion that covers her face at this very moment. No relief, or happiness, and no love. Just pure shock that her son actually bothered to come and visit her.
I count back the days since the last visit in my mind. How long's it been now? A month? Two maybe? Not that it matters, considering that I'm pretty sure no one missed me.
"No... I'm an elephant, obviously." She just stares at me for a moment, as if trying to comprehend what I've said, and blatantly not picking up on the sarcastic humour added in there. Although, considering the fact that I don't think she has any sense of humour, I'm not really that surprised.
Her face now wears a hard mask, all emotions gone, the shock replaced with nothing-ness. Yeah, nice to see you, too, mother. Obviously, I can't voice my thoughts, as I don't doubt I'd receive an earful just like in the good ol' days.
"Honey, what's going- Son?" My father stops himself from reaching out and wrapping an arm around my mother's shoulder as he spots me standing in the doorway. He retreats slightly, standing beside my mother, turning off the facade that I'm sure they save for visitors. But right now, there's no one to put on an act for - I already know their horrible ways.
"So yeah, I guess I should come in, ya know, since I'm here and all." I pull off an overly-exaggerated impish grin and follow my parents inside. Oh fuck, I can't believe I almost forgot why I'm actually here. "On second thoughts, this'll be quick."
I peer over at the bush, knowing that my parents are probably following my gaze right now. Kade steps out and brushes himself down, looking sheepish for the first time in a long time. "Justin, you should go inside." He offers me a weak smile and a nod of what I suppose is meant to be encouragement, but honestly I still want to run the fuck away from here.
"Kay, come with."
"Justin, what's going on?" My mother interrupts, and I realise that I had almost forgotten she's here right now, as I had been too caught up in looking at Kade. I don't know if it'd be a good or bad thing if she figures out that I'm gay and in a relationship before I tell her.
Aah, shit, I really don't know how this is going to go down, but I doubt it'll be good somehow.
I walk into the house, Kade following behind me. It's so bloody tempting to put my hand in his as we walk the short distance from the front door to the lounge, where I sit on the sofa, with Kade a suitable distance away from me on the same sofa, and my parents taking seperate arm chairs on either side of the sofa.
"Mother, father, I guess I better just tell it how it is." Deep breath, Justin, you can do it. Kade's here, and any minute now, you'll be able to take a hold of his hand and leg it. Everything'll be okay, just do it. "I'm gay."
The way their faces morph from emotionless, to this boiling anger... It's like a storm is about to come any moment. Their trying to stay calm, I can tell. Like the calm before the storm. But any second now, that composure will disappear and the storm will hit me full force. Any second...
"Who the fuck is the guy who did this to you?"
"How did this happen, Justin?"
"Son, you can't expect us to-"
"We forbid you-"
"You forbid?" I was willing to let them go on, but that one word set something off inside of me, they can't control every little aspect of my fucking life! Especially after barely talking to me. How dare they? "You forbid me to do what exactly? To love? Just because you've both lost the fucking ability, it does not give you the right to try and take away mine!" I look over at my father. "And to answer your question, Kade and I are dating. Mother, father, this is my boyfriend." I gesture between Kade and both my parents, before standing up. "And we're gonna be on our way now."
Grabbing a hold of Kade's hand, I begin to help him up. But I hear it, and in my peripheral vision, I just about manage to see it, just before it's about to hit him. And so I jump. And instead of my father's fist landing on Kade's cheek as he's halfway to his standing position, it lands in my stomach.
What hurts more than the fist to the stomach, is the fact that my own father doesn't look at all regretful... not even for a moment, before things just go black.
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YOU ARE READING
Teach Me To Be Gay (BoyxBoy)
Teen FictionJustin and Kade. Two very close friends, who are both (supposedly) straight. Until one kiss equals a bunch of uncontrollable feelings and a confession from both sides.