is this love? | seaycee (sean and kaycee)

8*

"I need to know 'cause I've never been this close. Is this love, is this love? Really love, really love?"

It has been three weeks since they were back home and even though they said things weren't going to change,  things did change. It wasn't anything bad or a way too drastic change, they were just happier around each other and also super flirty. They didn't really have a real conversation about how they were feeling about each other or what they were, but somehow it worked for these weeks.

Kaycee was still trying to understand what she was feeling for Sean because she had never been in this position before, she had never been in love or even just liked someone so she wasn't sure if that was the case now. Part of her feared that she was confusing friendship with something more, and if she was, she feared to be leading Sean to believe that it was something else too.

To be honest, she tried to look confident as if she wasn't a mess inside but she had lots of fears. What they had started months ago turned out to be the best thing in Kaycee's life. She loved dancing with him, and she feared that if things changed she might lose it.

She had been laying in her bed, staring at the ceiling for the past half an hour. If someone looked she appeared calm, just a girl taking a break or about to take a nap, but inside she was going crazy.

She felt something weighing the other side of her bed. "A penny for your thoughts, sis."

Kaycee sighed and rested her head on her sister's shoulder. "I'm wondering why do we have to grow."

Kylie laughed. "You're just sixteen."

"I know and if things are already this hard now, imagine when I'm 30 or something." They both chuckled.

"Tell me, what is 'hard' right now?" The older one asked.

"Feelings, they are hard to understand and hard to name it, principally when you don't have previous experience with it." She said.

"It's this about Sean?" Kaycee looked up to her sister in disbelief. "What? I see the way you two are around each other, and I also noticed that you've been acting differently since the lake trip... did something happened there?"

"What? no, nothing happened I swear." She answered sitting up in the bed, nervous with the question.

Her sister sat up too. "Hey, you don't have to be embarrassed about anything... But if nothing happened then what changed?"

"Everything." She took a deep breath. "Kylie, how do you know if you are in love with someone? like love for real."

Her sister smiled at the question, Kaycee had always been so responsible and hardworking that sometimes Kylie would forget that she was still just a teenager so it was cute to see her trying to figure out the world and herself.

"Well, that's a hard question that I don't know if has the same answer to everyone. For me, you have to pay attention to the things the person makes you feel that no one else makes and the things you do for the person that you wouldn't do for anyone else." She answered and Kaycee nodded.

The girl kept wondering about her sister's words for a while. After her sister left her alone, she got herself a notebook and started to make a list of things that only Sean would make her feel because she visualized things better when they were written down. 

She wrote things like the way he makes her laugh like no one else or how she feels safe with him no matter what they were doing, how she trusted him and how that came easy to her — something that was new —  or how she always feels special around him because he constantly treats her like so... And the list just kept growing and growing into the point it wasn't even a list anymore, it was almost like a book. Wow, guess I really do love, Sean.