Flawless

Lost

It was velvety darkness. I didn't move as the sharp razor sliced deep into my flesh, drawing fluid. I smiled. This was exactly what I needed, an equilibrium of pain.

I dug the razor so deep that I could almost hear the sound of tearing flesh. But it wasn't okay like that. I so much wanted to feel some physical pain, the emotional pain was too much for me to bear.

"Karleen, you're losing too much blood!" F screamed but I couldn't stop.

I couldn't stop. Not even when the pain overcame my wholeness and my body shuddered from the excruciating pain. Not when I couldn't feel anything but fluid all over me. Not when I felt all of me go limp.

*
A sharp scream pierced my thoughts and woke me up. I forced my eyes open and registered the female figure towering over me. It was Kath. She was pale from shock.

Pain.
More pain.
"Kath," I whispered.

She closed the door behind her, locked it and walked up to me. She carefully dragged me to the bed.
"Did someone attack you?"

I nodded.

"Who?!"

"Me."

Her face softened. "Hmm actually we need to take of this. You might need to go to the hospital."

I disagreed. "I'll be fine. Before, was I worse?"

She thought for a while. "You were everyone's sweetheart so that kinds of make it hard to determine if you were good or bad. We liked you like that."

"Why?... You hate me..."

Kath's eyes searched through the room. "I've tried to get over Josh but I can't. My bad. Really, you need to get to the hospital. It's..."

As my eyes closed, I lost track of her voice. The stinging in my brain increased and like a scene from a movie, I could see...

"You really don't have to get mad at me. I'm just so scared of doing it." Karleen said buttoning her green shirt.

His back was turned to her. "No. You're scared of what people will say when they find out about us."

Karleen paused. "Why are you always bringing our discussion to this?" She saw a book on the table and picked it. It was a red hardcover book with "FOOTPATH" boldly written on it in Italics.

She frowned and opened it. On the first page...

The Eternity Kingdom -- our forty year project

Presented to Mayorkun Ajibola
By
The Dread.

She frowned. "Who's Mayorkun Ajibola?"

He stiffened. "Not your business."

"Then what's with an eternity kingdom and the Dread... Some demon st--"

He turned to drag the book from her...

Just when I thought I'll see his face, I felt a hand press my brain and all I saw was black.

**
"Karleen! Open your mind!" F said.

It was now a normal thing for me to open my mind with eyes closed. I heard movements and after listening for seconds, I assumed it was a woman and a man. To be more precise, Josh and a woman. It was a wonder how I could recognize him under any circumstance.

He spoke first. "Here is safer."

"She's here, remember?"

"You heard the doctor. She has lost too much blood so she's unconscious. Why are you here?"

She exhaled. "I lost another finger this morning."

"What?! Why? I did nothing wrong?" He yelled, concern was evident in his voice.

"Are you kidding? If you have went along with the plan, she should be in jail waiting for execution instead of being in a hospital."

"You're very sick. You think this is China where they'll just execute her? This is Nigeria!"

The woman laughed. "You're sicker. All we needed was your testimony in court but you keep on acting like you're smart."

"And her parents will just watch them execute her?" He asked.

"Like they didn't watch other girls die too. If you keep acting like this, we will miss the eternity kingdom!"

He sighed. "Was that what you told Sonia that made her say all--"

She interrupted. "How'll lose all my fingers if you keep acting smart."

"That's because we have a sick beast as a father. Any progress about Mom?"

She was silent for a while. "I don't think we'll ever find her so wake up. We'll be cowards if we try to stop them!"

"So we should just watch them destroy our country?"

"It's a demonic invasion. The world will believe."

"Mom can stop this!" He shouted.

"Two years ago I lost two toes because I found Mom. I had someone from the inside send a letter to her. She never replied...she never."

"I will see her myself," he replied.

"You don't understand. Nothing can stop them!"

He yelled. "Must you be this difficult?!"

"Are you acting this way because of Karleen? We're age mates, you know. She's struggling. Yes but she hasn't been in chains and confinement all her life. She wasn't forced into being a beast! She didn't kill a whole family when she was five. She had friends and family. She had love. Her mother didn't run away in cowardice. Her life doesn't depend on the mistakes her brother make. She doesn't lose a finger each time her brother makes a mistake. Her wrists haven't turned black from chains. For the first time in seventeen years Joshua... I get to see you outside that prison. For the first time in seventeen years, I was let go to see the world around for probably the last time!" She was crying.

"What do you mean for the last time?" His voice was rough.

"I have one finger left. One more mistake from you, he'll kill me! For the first time in my life, I'm asking you of something and you won't do it? What a big brother you are!"

Joshua said. "Jenna, I just need you to endure a little more."

She laughed. "Because of her?"

"Je--"

"Don't. Don't 'Jenna' me. You've stopped being Josh. You're no different from our Father."

There was an enduring silence, then the sound of a door open...bang...open... close.

I looked through the corner of my eyes and just as I wanted to open them wide, the door opened, revealing Josh.

From the corner of my eyes, I could see the pain and shock on his face. He closed the door fell on the floor, his body trembled. Tears spilled.

It broke me to see him this way. It broke me to know that he was going through this because of me. I wanted to stand up, walk to him and hug him.

F cautioned. "Don't!"

I relaxed my muscles and closed my eyes. Five breaths later, I felt his hands on mine.

His lips hovered over mine and it took all my strength not to return the kiss. I acted limp. His tears fell on my face uncomfortably and my heart wept for him.

"Karleen. Oh Karleen. You just need to forgive me for all I'm about to do."

***
😉