Our Last Year

Entry 2

Eli literally makes me so mad right now! So when we kissed, people were videoing and taking pictures. I'm not surprised, but he posted it on his finsta which is really fucked up. But it's fine, I'll be okay. Anyways, when I went to dinner with my senior friends before the show all anyone could talk about was me at the party and what in the fuck I'm going to do about it. Anyways, I am not surprised that my friends "found out," because only a few of them weren't there. But once I got to the theater, all the underclassmen were coming up to me and asking what happened. Unfortunately, some of the kids' parents were next to them when they were asking me some questions so I had to make up some story on any reason I would have done that stupid shit.

I was talking to Simon about what I should do and he said that they had been texting about it earlier and he said that he likes me and wants to see where it goes. I Told him to tell Eli that I probably don't want to continue into anything deeper. I can't say I feel good about the situation, nor do I think it was 100% his fault. It was my choice to get that fucked up. HOWEVER, I was already drunk and he kept telling me to get more drunk, and I listened because I did not realize that I was drunk already and didn't need to get more drunk than I already was. On the drive home from the show, I cried. Eli is a nice kid and all, but I don't think I could ever see us dating. To make the whole situation better, my cars gas light was on the entire 13 mile ride home. I cannot say I wasn't terrified.

After I showered and got into my pajamas (black booty shorts and my favorite sweatshirt) I checked my phone. Eli sent me like 5 texts. I don't blame him. But also leave me alone. "Hey. So about last night. Even sober, I kinda like you. And would do it again." My heart sank, I dropped my phone and started shaking. How the fuck am I supposed to tell this kid I'm not interested? Idk I guess I'll just leave him on read and like see if he gets a clue.