in time // h.s.

xix. harry

Twenty-one years old...

Our third year came along and chomped us on the arse with terrifying speed, leaving us with only a few months to figure out where we wanted to live once we'd finished and what we were actually going to do with our lives once we were handed our scrolled-up certificates and sent on our merry way into the big bad world of reality. On top of that we were craning our necks trying to complete dissertations and final assignments, as well as attending our normal lectures.

On April 29th, a Wednesday afternoon (I remember the date clearly for reasons you'll come to understand), I found myself free from lectures. Rather than sitting indoors and fretting over my remaining work, I'd decided to make the most of the freak springtime heatwave and go on a mammoth bike ride along the coast. I'd asked Janet if she wanted to come but she'd declined, insisting she was too busy finishing off coursework. I pictured her sat on her bed, frantically editing her latest photographs, a worry line forming on her brow. She was such a perfectionist, but it paid off. Her work was always awesome. She had a natural eye for capturing little moments, even if photography was something she insisted was something she 'fell into' through being clueless about her future plans.

So, there I was, enjoying the glorious weather and the salty wind blowing through my hair, when Matty called. Needless to say we still spoke on the phone daily, some days two or three times. Janet always joked that I spoke to him more than she did. I think, back in those days, she could have been right. I pulled over and got off my bike before picking up, perching on a stony wall that was separating me from the sandy beach below.

"Mate!" I breathed into the phone, my lungs only just starting to recover. "You coming down tomorrow night?"

"Something's happened," he blurted, steamrolling my chatter with haste.

Everything inside me froze as I heard the fear in his voice. It was far from the calm and cheeky tone I was used to hearing. I knew it was something serious.

"What's happened? Are you okay?"

"No..."

"Matt, what is it?" I instantly thought the worst. I thought he was about to tell me something had happened to my mum.

"I've done something really stupid."

"What?"

"I've slept with someone..."

"You've what?!"

To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I was hit by a wave of nausea as my surroundings slipped away from me, all my senses focusing on Matty's voice.

"You heard," he muttered, not wishing to repeat it.

"When?"

"Last night."

"Fuck!"

"Yeah... what a cock," he berated himself.

"But what about Janet? What about tomorrow?"

"I know."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know."

"Have you told her?"

"No! I wanted to tell you first."

"Why? I'm not telling her for you," I stammered, not wanting to be the one to break her heart, he could do that himself.

"Of course not, I wasn't going to ask you to. I just wanted you to know so that you can be there, you know, when I do."

"Right, yeah. When you going to do that?"